Inconsistency

Maybe you're not a hypochondriac . . .

2010-10-31T23:51:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted on my blog in almost a year, and I'm STILL too lazy to do anything more than this. It really made me laugh, though.

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

2009-11-20T12:50:00.001-07:00

What are YOU thankful for?

Sushi Anyone?

2009-08-09T21:04:00.004-06:00

I guess I've decided to come out of the blogging hole I've been hiding in for the last few months (was it really March when I last posted??) now that we've moved far, far away and I can't just tell people about the awesome thing I did tonight. You know, at least not in person.

Tonight, my friends, I made sushi for the first time! I know. Is that not seriously so cool? Ellis and I love sushi, but we rarely get to go out to eat it. So I thought, hey, how hard could it be? I got myself some toasted seaweed, a rolling mat, and some sashimi grade tuna and went to town.

For the adults, we have your classic Philly rolls, and my version of the so yummy "Jenny roll" that I had at Tsunami a while ago with (who else?) Jenni. My version is, of course, called the "Jenni Roll."

I made a tamer roll for the kids with cooked crab. I cut them smaller, too, so they'd be able to manage them better, and the rolls got a little smushed in the process. The presentation is lacking here, I know, but the kids had fun messing around with the chopsticks.

Ellis enjoys his rolls with wasabi and soy sauce.

I like mine 'al natural,' the way they were intended.

And the girls mostly liked the fortune cookies. I know, I know . . . fortune cookies don't really fit the Japanese theme, but let's be honest, the girls aren't exactly sushi aficionados.

Yes, attempts were made to eat the fortune cookies with chopsticks.

FYI: In my quest for sushi-making knowledge, I discovered that sushi is not meant to be eaten with chopsticks but is supposed to be eaten with your hands. (Jen, you don't need to master the chopsticks after all!)

Crime and Punishment

2009-03-29T21:11:00.004-06:00

The other day, the kids were playing outside on the swing set (you know, before the March blizzard of '09), and Ellis saw Marley pushing Lucy down while they were up on the slide. In what I think was a stroke of disciplining genius, Ellis made Marley have a timeout that involved writing down all the reasons why pushing her little sister off the slide was a bad idea. Here's what she came up with:

1. Bekus Lucy will haf too go too the Hosobl.

2. Bekus Lucy will hav a brokin lag.

3. Bekus Lucy will be hrt.

4. Bekus Lucy will kri.

5. Bekus she will be sad.

She had written each reason on a separate little sheet of paper, and then she stapled (and taped) them all together in a small booklet for our reading pleasure.

Which Girl Scout Cookie are You?

2009-03-09T16:46:00.002-06:00

You Are Peanut Butter Sandwiches / Do-si-dos

You are easy going and naturally happy. You don't need a lot to make you smile.

You genuinely care about people and are a great friend. You're always doing your best to make the world a better place.

Even though there isn't an immature bone in your body, you still are like a big kid sometimes.

Why make life complicated when the best parts are actually quite simple? You enjoy the small joys of life.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

Hmmm. . . I'm not sure I like being associated with a cookie called the "Do-Si-Do." I swear, I never clogged when I was younger . . . . At least not professionally.

Land of the Cheese, Home of the Packers

2009-02-19T15:57:00.004-07:00

Okay, so as many of you may have heard by now, it is official: we are moving to the great state of Wisconsin! Yes, I know . . . there were rumors flying around for a while about us moving to Mississippi. And yes, those rumors were started by me. But as it turns out, Ellis is a highly sought-after man, and what can we say? We liked Wisconsin a lot better. But hey, we'll be next to the Mississippi River, so I like to think it all evens out.

And even though we won't be moving until the end of the summer, I've been accumulating a lot of really valuable information about our future state. Friends and family have been extremely helpful in sharing their wealth of knowledge, and now here's what I've got so far:

Great cheese. Now Dana may mock, but there are few things I love more than squeaky cheese (and yes, those who know me well . . . or just read my blog . . . will know that chocolate is one of those things). So I can't complain about this one.
Cold winters. This one doesn't bother me too much either. The real problem is when you have hot, humid summers, and nobody wants to go outside. Like I need a house full of kids all summer long.
Green Bay Packers. I plead ignorance on all things football-related. (They are a football team, right?)
Highly ranked public schools. Good, good. I don't want dumb kids.
Beautiful area. Well, I have to live there, so this one's definitely a plus.
Big ol' river. The city we'll be living in borders the river, so that could be pretty cool. Ellis is excited because there are all sorts of outdoor-related activities we can do there. This could be good and bad. I'll let you know.
Low cost of living. Bonus! Houses are really cheap there, and as we all know, it's a good time to buy. We'll invite you all for the house-warming . . .

Well, that's about all I've got right now. Feel free to chime in if you know any other bits of Wisconsin trivia. I've clearly got the important stuff down, but I do like to be prepared. I guess I'll hold onto my parka and snow boots.

All Chocolate is Not Created Equal

2009-01-31T14:47:00.005-07:00

So here's something interesting I've discovered (in addition to the fact that about half of my posts seem to be dedicated to chocolate): Hershey's Milk Chocolate Chips just aren't as good as almost any other generic brand of chocolate chips. And frankly, neither are Ghirardelli chocolate chips. And aren't they supposed to be the better brands?

It's kind of weird, I think, that Hershey's brand tastes more like semi-sweet than milk chocolate. I'm not exactly a chocolate snob, but I do much prefer milk chocolate to semi-sweet when it comes to the chocolate chips in my cookies. And I want them to taste like milk chocolate, too. Is that so much to ask?

Probably the best ones out there are Macey's brand milk chocolate chips. Those are sooo tasty.

So what's up with Hershey's, huh? If I buy milk chocolate, I want milk chocolate! Of course, it didn't exactly stop me from finishing off the last of this bag of chocolate chips . . .

Jump, Lucy, Jump!

2009-01-28T20:39:00.005-07:00

Okay, so I literally have no time to be blogging right now, but I thought I'd throw one quick little video on here. Have I ever mentioned how much Lucy likes to jump? I mean, seriously, if it were an Olympic sport, she'd totally take the gold.

What's that you say? Oh, it is an Olympic sport? Huh. Well, I guess it's a good thing we started her training early then. If she doesn't end up an Olympian, I know she'll totally beat that one kid with the freakish long legs in the long jump at the 5th grade Track Meet.

Check out the evidence below: Lucy, age 3.

And yeah, maybe I'm pushing her a little hard there at the end. Look, someone's got to get this kid ready for Summer Games 2022.

It understands me

2009-01-15T13:37:00.003-07:00

Okay, so I'm trying not to panic here, but I've recently discovered that there is no chocolate in my house.

[Waiting for reaction]

Did you hear me? I said NO chocolate. None. No more leftover Christmas candy, no more Hershey Kisses that I had stashed away in a drawer that I lovingly chose not to share with anyone else in my family. (It will rot their teeth. I'm just thinking of them.) No bag of mini-Kisses that were supposed to be for chocolate chip cookies, were I to make some. No box of 100 calorie chocolate shortbread cookies (apparently, the 100 calories is only significant if you eat 1 bag at a time).

But see, here's the problem. I can't really make anything chocolate because Ellis and I are trying to eat healthier right now [snickering . . . what Ellis doesn't know won't hurt him . . . ] So I can't just have a chocolate cake or cookies lying around the house. That would totally defeat ~~his~~ our goal.

Sigh. It's just hard to be responsible for your family when you really have no interest in doing it for yourself.

Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead

2009-01-13T15:48:00.004-07:00

Something I just overheard while Marley and Lucy were playing pretend:

Marley: "Well, Mom and Dad are dead. Now we can do whatever we want!"

And frankly, it's not the first time I've heard them playing a game where their parents are dead. Not just away on vacation or out shopping, but dead. So, um, how should I be feeling about this?

So this is why I never do Spring Cleaning . . .

2009-01-12T20:36:00.005-07:00

So I've now spent most of the weekend cleaning blinds, walls, baseboards, doors, and organizing rooms. Why would I subject myself to such misery, you may ask? Look, I like a clean house as much as the next person. But this deep cleaning and scrubbing is just not my thing.

And seriously, after all the blinds I've cleaned, I realize now why the last time I cleaned those blinds was . . . hmmm, well, let's see . . . I can't quite remember . . . um, I'll have to get back to you on that one . . . but if I were judging from the layers like you would do to determine the age of a tree, hypothetically, of course, I'd have to guess 3 years (which is when we first hung them up).

Well, anyway, we've decided to sell our house. That's right, we've given up on getting to stay here in the ol' home state. Ellis has a bunch of job interviews that are for schools out of state, and since they all start in August of this year, we thought we'd better get a jump on selling the house.

But you know, while I was cleaning all those wretched blinds and walls, I just kept thinking how I wished I was curled up somewhere reading a book and neglecting, well, pretty much everything else. And that made me think about all the crappy things we have to do as adults that we'd really rather not be doing.

Things I Should Do____________Things I'd Rather Do

Clean the blinds............................Let the blinds gather an inch-thick dust layer
Wash the dishes...........................Leave them in the sink and go watch 30 Rock
Make dinner.................................Eat cold cereal
Go for a run.................................Stay in my warm, comfortable bed
Get the kids ready for school..........See Above
Go to bed early............................Stay up blogging or watching SNL with Ellis
Sweep........................................Get family to stop dropping things
Get kids ready for bed...................Go to bed myself
Eat healthy snacks........................Make repeated trips to the bag of choco chips
Go grocery shopping......................Have a root canal

So, I think I mostly fall somewhere in between these two columns on any given day (some days leaning more severely to the right . . .), but what about the rest of you? I know I'm not the only one out there. 'Fess up. What are some things you do instead of what you know you should be doing?

Anyone need a drummer?

2009-01-04T21:50:00.003-07:00

Okay, let's get something straight here. I am not a gamer. Never have been. Never even wanted to be. Remember when Nintendo first came out? My best friend had one, and I was never more bored than when she wanted to play Mario or some games involving a big gorilla or Mike Tyson (could have been the same game; I'm not sure).

And I've always been pretty certain that I would never want to have any kind of gaming system in my house. Seems like a big waste of time, you know?

So fast-forward to last night when our neighbor invited us over to play Rock Band. Then fast-forward to 5 hours later when we had to tear ourselves away because it was 2:30 in the morning, and we felt guilty for keeping them up so late.

All I can say is, I think I've found my new calling. I'm just looking for a band who needs a slightly inexperienced drummer, and I'll go on the road right now. Either that, or we're going to have to buy our own game because I'm so hooked that I was tempted to sneak over to my neighbor's house during Sunday School today to get in a little practice.

Oh, and I'm thinking of dying my hair bright pink . . .

Rockin' in the New Year

2009-01-01T15:23:00.008-07:00

So, when you throw together a last-minute New Year's Eve bash with Jeffrey and Karen, you really just don't know what you're in for. Our night included (but was not limited to) the following:

Jeffrey's amazing and delicious homemade pizza

Board games (Karen and I won, and then lost)

20 pounds of Christmas candy (hey, it's totally justified when it's on sale after Christmas)

A few neighborhood fireworks

Jeffrey's midnight run around the block in the nude (oh wait, he opted to keep his clothes on after he felt how chilly it was out there)

"Eye of the Tiger" (Karen and Jeffrey, then Ellis and Jami)

"Material Girl" (Ellis and Jeffrey . . .see video below)

"Tricky" by Run DMC (no one)

Numberous 80s medleys (all of us)

There's a surprisingly long intro to "Eye of the Tiger" when you're playing SingStar 80s. Luckily for all of us, Jeffrey and Karen were prepared with theme-appropriate choreography.

I tried to get Ellis to do some Rocky moves with me during our "Eye of the Tiger" intro. He wasn't nearly as inspired as I was.

And for the grand finale . . . All I can say is, move over, Madonna.

Too late for Christmas stuff?

2009-01-01T14:58:00.006-07:00

I'm not sure at what point you're kicked out of the blogging world for neglecting to actually, uh, blog, but you know . . . new year's resolutions, and all that.

So a few weeks ago, the fam made some very tasty gingerbread men (well, okay, mostly women, but that's what you get with our family) and decorated them.

Lucy went with the "more is more" theory on her candy decorations. Of course, by the time I took this picture, she'd already eaten most of them off. You can tell she's still on her sugar-high by the glazed look in her eyes.

Marley spent most of the night painstakingly putting all these tiny candies on her cookie's skirt, and most of us had finished eating our cookies before hers was done. After I took this picture, she spent another hour on her decor.

I think Larrin felt sorry for Ellis's lone gingerbread man and made one herself, although opting to give hers a crew cut. You know, just in case he should ever decide on a career with the military.

Mine is entitled "Self-Portrait" which I think is fairly obvious. The orange corn-rows, multi-colored button-up, and pleated floor-length skirt are dead give-aways.

Ellis's cookie manages to put on a brave face despite a recent traumatic injury. (And personally, I'm rather fond of the Chippendales-esque tie/no shirt combo he chose to go with.)

Princess costume . . . Nevermore!

2008-11-02T17:49:00.005-07:00

It's a sad and strange day when your 8-year-old daughter (the same daughter who, in past years, has dressed as an assortment of princesses to rival a Disney store) tells you she wants to be a vampire for Halloween. And we're not talking some sort of cute little Disney-hybrid of a vampire with a sparkly purple dress and flowers on the cape. No, she wants to be scary. Blood, fangs, dark eyes, the works.

Now how did this happen? I mean, the kid dressed up as Tinkerbell last year, and the goal of the event was to look as cute as possible. I didn't really care that she wanted to be a vampire this year, but I was curious about the transformation that causes a girl (a very girly, Hannah Montana sort of girl, mind you) to suddenly want to look like a demon for Halloween. It's just a strange phenomenon to me.

Once we got the make-up and black hairspray on, she was thrilled at how scary she looked. Lucy, however, was not so thrilled. She was terrified of Larrin and ran crying from the room whenever she saw her. I guess we'll get a few more years of "cute" out of her. Not that she had any interest in being a princess. She wanted to be Jessie from Toy Story 2. Only Marley held strong with the princess theme that tends to run rampant in our household.

Lucy, starting to feel she is standing a little too close to Larrin for comfort.

Lucy refuses to be in any more pictures that include Evil Larrin.

Halloween Confessions

2008-10-31T14:58:00.003-06:00

So, there comes a point on Halloween when you just have to say to yourself, "Okay, I'll save the rest of the candy for the trick-or-treaters."

"Well, one more is not going to make much difference."

[Fishing through the bowl for another Twix.]

"Kids don't really appreciate chocolate anyway."

"Are you telling me some kid isn't going to have enough candy if I don't have any Twix left in this bowl when he gets here?"

[Rifling through the bowl a few minutes later.]

"Hey, did I see some Peanut M&M's left in there?"

"Well, the candy really goes on sale the day of Halloween, so if I have to go grab a couple more bags from the store, I'm really saving money."

[Surreptitiously stashing some wrappers at the bottom of the garbage can.]

"Weird. I could have sworn there were more Milky Way bars in this bowl. Huh."

[Casually] "Uh, what time do those trick-or-treaters start coming around?"

And finally, the annual promise to self: "Seriously, next year I am NOT opening any bags of candy until right before the trick-or-treating starts! I mean it this time."

FFA: First Car

2008-10-11T20:50:00.000-06:00

So, my computer died last week, and it has literally been the longest week of my life not having access to a computer. Ellis brings his laptop home at night, but because he often doesn't get home until really late, that hasn't given me a lot of time on it. I am counting down the days until the new guy (and by "guy" I mean computer . . . not mail-order husband) comes in the mail next week. Thus, my FFA this week is a day late.

This week's Friday Free-for-All topic is . . . . First Car

Well, I wasn't sure whether the offical title of "First Car" applied to the first car I drove, or the first car I actually bought myself. I opted for the first one since it is forever burned in my memory. The only problem is that I really couldn't find a picture to do justice to the truck I drove after I first got my license.

When I turned sixteen, my parents graciously let me drive this old Chevy pickup truck that they had recently acquired from a late great-uncle. It was a '66 or '67 (I can't remember which. . . not being the autmobile guru then that I'm really not today). When we first got it, the truck was bright orange. And when I say bright, I mean burn your retinas bright orange. So my parents thought it would be a good idea to paint it.

Opting not to completely take away from its natural beauty, the only thing that was changed was a large white stripe that was painted down the sides of the truck. My parents just weren't sure that anything else would complement the green leather seats so well. I mean, really, can you blame them?

Now lest you think this vehicle was merely eye candy, let me describe for you some of its more endearing qualities. The steering wheel was about twice as big as me and had no power-steering. Trying to turn the brute helped me to acquire the bulging biceps so popular in high school girls. And it did indeed have an AM radio, so I could keep up on my talk radio and hillbilly stations. Not only that, but it usually only took one of my paychecks from Barry's Parkview Drive-In (the local fast-food joint) to fill up the gas tank.

But the best part about driving this truck was that it jingled. That's right, jingled. I was often mistaken for Santa by children from afar. I got a lot of old cookies thrown at me by pissed off kids when I drove by. Yeah, sure, it was festive during the holidays, but it just wasn't practical for everyday driving.

Yes, folks, overall it was the dream first car of any 16-year-old girl.

Why Day Time Television is Here to Stay

2008-10-05T18:14:00.001-06:00

I randomly found this clip and watched it about 3 times, and every time it made me laugh harder. I'm not sure why.

All I have to say is . . . The mustache, really? Because the hair is making your life easier?

FFA: Saturday Morning Cartoons

2008-10-03T15:21:00.000-06:00

Friday Free for All Topic of the Week: Saturday Morning Cartoons

My memories of the joy that was Saturday morning cartoons illustrate the true difference between kids and adults. When I was a kid, not only did I not sleep in on Saturdays, but I would get up even earlier than a weekday just so that I could camp out in front of the TV for a couple of unhindered hours before my mom made us do our chores.

I always associate watching Saturday morning cartoons with my brother Cody (who is only a year younger than I am). We were the only ones who actually chose to get up at an obscene hour like 6:00 in the morning on Saturdays. Okay, I take that back. My dad did, too, but it was to go play basketball, and he's kind of crazy, so that really doesn’t count. My older sisters were teenagers (the lure of the Saturday morning cartoon had lost its magic) and had come to appreciate the value of sleep, and our youngest brother TJ was too little during the golden age of the Saturday morning cartoons.

And seriously, you can’t tell me that cartoons were better back then. They weren’t. They were just as crappy as they are now, and we totally didn’t care. I mean, I hate those Tom and Jerry cartoons or the Roadrunner now because they are so violent, and that really bugs me. Seriously, I wouldn’t let my kids watch them. But I didn’t seem to have a problem with them back then.

Here’s a list of other crappy cartoons that my brother and I loved to watch:

He-Man (and the Masters of the Universe!)
She -Ra (or was she just a character in He-Man? I forget.)
Jem and the Holograms
Thunder Cats (seriously, what kind of creepy show was that? Yeah, it was a favorite.)
Smurfs
Transformers
The Bugs Bunny and Friends
G.I. Joe

Now my feelings on Saturday morning cartoons have changed, but they are no less appreciated. Ellis and I discovered when our oldest daughter was about 3, that we could train her to head down to the family room when she woke up on Saturdays rather than wake up her tired parents who just wanted to sleep in that ONE day (is that asking too much?) We’d make sure the TV channel was set on PBS and showed her how to turn it on when she got up in the morning. Then we’d get up an hour later or so, and you know, give her some food or something. It was a win-win situation.

Life really hasn’t been as good since we stopped getting cable . . .

FFA: Super Powers

2008-09-26T11:09:00.000-06:00

Friday Free for All Topic of the Week: If you could have ANY super power (either good or evil) what would it be?

When I asked Ellis what super power he would like to have, he said, “Being rich.”

“Uh, dude, that’s not a super power.” Poor guy. I think he’s getting tired of the poverty and 90-hour work weeks.

So then I decided that my super power would be something like Samantha’s on Bewitched. You know, how she blinks her eyes a couple of times, and the whole house is clean, dinner’s on the table, and she’s wearing a sporty new ensemble. I don’t know if that would make me more of a witch than a super hero, but either way, I figure it’s appropriate.

I think this decision was based on the fact that lately I feel like I’m living in a refugee camp or something. Toys and clothes and shoes and bits of surreptitiously-placed food and papers strewn all over the place with no one making any efforts to take care of it but me.

But then I made the mistake of checking out Peggy’s blog this morning . . . something I don’t usually do until I’ve posted my own FFA . . . only to find that SHE had already claimed Samantha’s powers. Crap.

But, you know, I figured, that Samantha was always getting into some sort of mad-cap situation or misunderstanding with Darrin, and really, I don’t need that hassle.

So, now I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities:

1. The power of illusion (like Candice on Heroes): being able to alter the perceptions of others. Okay, so here’s the beauty of this one – no more exercising, I can eat what I want, and who needs a clean house? I’ll be sitting on the beach in a size 2 bikini eating chocolate bon-bons.

2. Adoptive Muscle Memory (like Monica on Heroes): the ability to replicate any physical action after seeing it performed. Okay, how cool would that be? Learn to do anything just by watching? I could be a concert pianist, Olympic gymnast, maybe even learn how to swim with my head in the water. The options are limitless.

I don’t know which one would be better. With option #1, I could make everything (including myself) look the way I wanted, but I wouldn’t know how to do anything. With option #2, I’d still have to clean the house. But I could probably win the Tour de France, right?

Final decision? Still undecided. Which would you choose?

**UPDATE** After a deep discussion on the matter, Ellis and I both decided that the Muscle Memory power would be way cooler than any other power. I mean, yeah, it would be nice to look like you're in shape with no effort on your part, but we both figured we'd end up being lazy slugs with that kind of power. With the Muscle Memory one, we talked about endless things that you could learn to do, and how amazing that would be. Of course, we questioned whether what you've learned fades over time, or if you'd always be able to do it. I say that you will always be able to do whatever you've learned.

And That's Why I Love Him

2008-09-24T23:22:00.000-06:00

So, I was looking through old photos for a high school dance picture for the Class of 1994 blog, when I came across some pretty great pictures of Ellis. Of course, I immediately thought, "I have GOT to post these on the blog!"

Ellis has a long and notorious history for taking some pretty fantastic pictures during his childhood. Let's just take a walk down Ellis's memory lane, shall we?

Exhibit A: Ellis's 3rd grade class picture. This is a personal favorite of mine. In this shot, Ellis had come up with this great idea to just casually reach out and tickle the really ticklish kid standing in front of him right as the picture was taken. The best part? No one would ever know it was him. . . (See back row, 5th kid from the left, and his victim, middle row, 4th kid from the left).

Exhibit B: 4th grade class picture. Yeah, it didn't get much better the next year. (Back row, 3rd from the left. . . if you need it pointed out.)

Exhibit C: The Fem-Hand Picture. Ellis is going to kill me for posting this one. He "claims" he was not intending to make this, uh, feminine gesture here.

Exhibit D: I had to post this one just because it's kind of freaky how much this looks like Marley.

Exhibit E: Ellis and Joe Sing "The Rainbow Connection." Ellis and his older brother Joe were roped into dressing as Kermit the Frog(s) and singing for their town's Homecoming talent show. I think it's pretty easy to see why I married the guy.

FFA: The Top 20

2008-09-22T14:47:00.001-06:00

Yes, I know. It's not Friday. Again. I happened to have had two freakishly busy Fridays in a row, okay? It won't happen again. At least, there's a chance it won't. Probably.

Friday Free for All Topic of Last Week: The Top 20 ______

The Top 20 Things That Totally Make My Day:

1. Staying up really late knowing I can sleep in the next morning. Doesn't happen often, so you'd better believe I take advantage of it when it does.

2. Cucumbers that aren’t bitter (My garden is taunting me . . .)

3. Email – There is nothing better than getting to send a message without getting bogged down into a 2 hour phone call. Plus, I have very entertaining friends.

4. Cold cereal – I don’t think I need to go into joys of cold cereal again, but as you all know, I do think it is the perfect food.

5. Eating ice cream while watching SNL with Ellis.

6. Taking a nap. Again, it's such a rarity, that I treat it like the miracle that it is.

7. Reading in bed

8. Walking on grass with bare feet (but not the hard, crunchy kind that is currently in patches in my back yard.)

9. Orbit Sweetmint gum

10. Walking through homes that are still under construction. (And uh, no, they aren’t homes of people we know. But you know, when the crew goes home for the day, it’s hard to resist critiquing the layout choices of people who are going to have a home far nicer than ours.)

11. Having a garden. Seriously, how cool it is it to go out in my yard and come back with food?

12. Finding a great deal. On almost anything. Toilet paper's on sale? It's my lucky day!

13. A clean house. Preferably one I didn’t have to clean myself.

14. Buying birthday or Christmas gifts. I don’t know why, but I love finding great gifts. I’ll hoard up gifts months before the occasion that actually calls for it.

15. My new computer monitor. Yes, it’s so nice to see blue, red, and brown again, instead of just varying shades of black.

16. Singing opera with my kids. ( I’m enjoying it now before they get old enough to know to mock.)

17. The DVD player in my van. Are you kidding me? One of the best inventions of the 21st century (or whenever they came up with this little baby.) Now, some families may like to talk to each other or sing songs on long trips. Not me. I’m just happy to not be bugged for the 5 hours it takes to get there.

18. Waking up early without having to drag my sorry butt out of bed or hit the snooze button 12 times. (I am so not exaggerating. Ask Ellis.)

19. Actually making it to the park when I tell the kids we’ll go there.

20. Having exercised. Not the actual exercising itself, but having it already done.

Cake Wrecks

2008-09-17T14:15:00.000-06:00

So, a friend of mine just sent me a link to this blog called "Cake Wrecks." It is completely hilarious. The blogger shows pictures of various cake disasters with some pretty funny commentary.

Here are a couple of my favorites with their corresponding commentary:

And that's how embarrassing nicknames are born, boys and girls!

"Is it Less Creepy If You Only Eat the Torso?"
"Someone's having a baby! Let's celebrate by eating one!"

Yep, I'll never quite understand that line of thinking. On the plus side, though, instead of saying "It's time to cut the cake!" with this one you get to say, "It's time to dismember the baby!" Do you suppose they stack the plastic head and limbs neatly in a basket on the side when it's time to serve, or just leave them strewn about the table? Either way, that's some hilarious mental imagery going on. Lindsay S., you grab the left arm, and I'll take the right. Now, pull!

When you go to check out the rest of the site (click on link above), be sure to click on the "Fan Favorites" on the sidebar. I particularly liked the "Inspiration vs. Perspiration" one.

The Return of the Friday Free for All

2008-09-15T14:19:00.001-06:00

Okay, I have to apologize for neglecting to post my FFA topic on Friday. I was busy helping Peggy paint, and then Saturday we had a big yard project involving tearing up the front section of the grass (my arms still hurt). Sure, I could have posted Sunday, but I was emotionally distraught after discovering my niece's car was stolen. From my house. Yeah, more on that later. But here it is -- the FFA topic (from last Friday) you've all been waiting for . . .

FFA Topic: Memories of Junior High (repressed or otherwise)

Let’s just face it – the Junior high years were not my best. My hair had suddenly gone curly (so I had no idea what to do with the frizzy mess), I had braces until 8th grade, and I was taller than most of the boys until about 9th grade. There was friend trauma, boy trauma, and probably just a bunch of made-up trauma because frankly, that’s what junior-high age girls do best.

So here are some of my best/most horrific/confused memories from the good ol’ days at Spanish Fork Jr. High:

1. Singing Valentines – this is definitely a favorite memory of mine. Every Valentine’s Day, the Drama Club made tons of heart-shaped sugar cookies which people could purchase and have delivered to the person of their choice, along with a little Valentine’s ditty. We got to skip classes most of the day, so that we could take these cookies around to the different classrooms. We’d sing ridiculous lyrics that we’d made up to songs like “Lollipop” to the poor, unsuspecting Valentine recipients.

2. Gym class – really need I say more? The absolute horror of having to take showers in the locker room with only a dishcloth-sized towel to cover you up after was almost enough to make us all a little neurotic. And who can forget Mrs. Perkins’s lecture on using deodorant?

3. The “snack line” at lunch. For some reason, the school district felt once we were in junior high, we were now old enough to have some choices at lunch . . . the favorite of which was the infamous “snack line.” The food choices in this line included a big pile of greasy fries with a greasy burrito, greasy cheeseburger, or greasy slab of pizza. Um, yeah, because kids this age are notorious for making healthy food choices . . .

4. Sewing class. Most of the girls took sewing and cooking classes while the boys took wood and metal shop. I’m still confused, though, as to how we’d benefit from learning how to sew a stuffed animal pillow, the most hideous jacket known to mankind, and a nightgown (okay, I actually wore that one for a while . . .). Even more confusing, though, was the day Mrs. Benson showed us a video with Christie Brinkley showing us how to put on makeup. Um, huh?

5. For some reason, Jenni and I decided to convince Chad Vest during Algebra class that Jenni’s middle name was “Liberty Bell.” I’m not sure whether it reflects more on our powers of persuasion or his, um, common-sense that he believed us.

6. “Going with” someone. Junior high kids didn’t date. We would “go with” someone. Go where, you might ask? Well, that is a very good question. I never really found out. I used to really like Scott Christensen until the fateful day that he asked me to “go with” him. For about a week, we painstakingly avoided talking to each other or crossing paths in the halls at all costs. Then we broke up. It was a short-lived but highly dramatic relationship.

Number 2 off to School!

2008-09-04T17:45:00.001-06:00

Marley's first day of kindergarten was yesterday, and she was pretty excited to finally get to go to school with Larrin. Kindergarten is all day here, so to be honest, I was pretty excited, too. Ahhh . . . a whole 2 hours to myself while Lucy naps. What will I do with all that time?

Okay, so it was kind of weird (and extremely quiet) with only Lucy and me in the house all day yesterday and today. Lucy really seemed to eat up the one-on-one attention, though, so I didn't get any complaints from her.

Marley and her friend Dylan are in the same class.

Marley in her classroom really hoping that I'll stop taking pictures and go home soon. Dang! She's standing by Fernando's coat hook. I'll have to pose her more strategically next time.

Well, she seems to really love school so far. She's come home excited and happy every day, and she's convinced that her teacher invited her over to have hotdogs tonight at her house. (Um, huh??) Marley was pretty disappointed when I told her I didn't know where her teacher lived. Other than that, school life has been great.

The Camera Loves Marley

2008-08-21T22:08:00.001-06:00

Oh, I forgot to post my very favorite one of Marley. Now there's a super model in the making . . .

New Family Pics

2008-08-21T17:22:00.000-06:00

Okay kids, prepare yourselves. We just had family pictures taken, and I'm about to post a whole slew of them. Feel free to comment on which ones you think are best because I haven't decided which to print out yet, and I could use some free advice. Although, if you really want to help me, you'd come over and go through all 160 of them with me. I'm just guessing you're thanking me for not posting all of them here . . . .

The Fam

I didn't realize until I was posting these that I had picked out all these black/white and sepia pictures of the girls. There are some really great ones that I like in color, too, but I am seriously not going back through them all again to decide which ones to post here. You're just going to have to deal with the lack of color.

The Girls

Larrin's Glamour Shot

Marley "Looking On"

So much depends upon

Lucy beside the wagon wheel . . .

Slip Up

2008-08-21T15:52:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I'm not going to lie: I love wearing skirts. Seriously, nothing is more comfortable than a skirt and sandals, and I feel bad for guys that they don't have such a comfortable clothing option. What I don't love wearing, however, are slips, nylons, and any shoe that would require me to wear aforementioned nylons. In fact, I don't think I've worn a slip since I was in middle school (sorry Mom, but it's true).

I mean, do I really need an extra layer when I'm going for breezy and comfortable? And I hate worrying about that stupid lacy edge showing at the bottom of my skirt. No sir, I've sworn off slips entirely.

So, with that in mind, I was racing to church last week because we were running a bit late (surprising, but true), and Marley had a talk in Primary. We'd gotten about a block, when I noticed a bit of a breeze a little higher up on my legs than I was used to feeling. I looked down, and sure enough, my skirt is about 3 inches higher than it should be. So now, I'm towing Marley with one hand, and frantically trying to keep my skirt down where it belonged with my other hand for the 5 blocks it takes to get to our church.

After Marley successfully gave her talk, and I was about to run to RS, I realized I'd forgotten about half of the things I needed for an object lesson in my Sunday school class. Drats! Out the door again, and I'm walking briskly back home to retrieve the forgotten items.

Once again, I'm fighting the skirt down and starting to feel a bit like a street walker as I walk past several people out for a Sunday morning stroll, and I'm showing a bit more leg than I usually do on the Sabbath.

So I started thinking, "Huh. Maybe a slip would have come in handy in this situation." Right? Is that how they work? Do they keep your skirt from hiking up? I can't really say from experience, but it seems like they could do the trick.

Now, have I become converted to slip-wearing? No, not really. I guess the inconvenience of actually purchasing and wearing a slip outweighs the embarrassment of flashing a few pedestrians on my way to church.

Friday Free for All: Winner or Loser?

2008-06-13T22:41:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: What is something you are completely fantastic at, and what is something you are really crappy at?

So last night, we'd just gone to bed, and I asked Ellis what was something I was really good at. After a minute, he said, "You're really good at making stuff." Curious, I said, "What kind of stuff?" And because the man can fall asleep within seconds of getting into bed, I guess I was lucky to even get an answer. Before drifting off, he kind of mumbled, "You know, poster boards."

So I lay there thinking, "Poster boards? What in the crap is he talking about? Is he already asleep??" His response kind of made me laugh for the next 10 minutes, but then I thought, I guess I have made some pretty impressive things on poster boards.

I have made large Frog Prince posters for Larrin and Marley's princess birthday parties so they could play "Kiss the Frog." I've made baby shower games, yard sale signs, YW posters, displays of authors and their works for my English classes, and some pretty killer candybar posters.

So there you have it, folks. Where do my talents lie? In the posterboard arts.

Now, what am I crappy at? The thing that comes to mind most at the moment is my complete lack of ability in the garden and/or yard. When it comes to growing things (other than weeds), I'm a complete mess. Every plant I've ever owned has come to an unfortunate and ugly death.

Now that we own a house with a yard, I've gotten ambitious to make the yard look nice and plant a garden. It has taken me weeks and weeks to weed all the flower beds, and now that I've gotten that done, all the freaking weeds have grown back. Argghhh!!

I was at Costco a month ago looking at fertilizer. Do I buy the one with just plain weed killer, or the one that kills crabgrass? Do I have crabgrass? I don't know. I look at the picture of crabgrass and think, "That doesn't look like anything we have in our grass." So, I purchase the regular weed killer, bring it home, and take a look at our yard. Yep, we have crabgrass.

I planted a little garden, and I was kind of proud of myself. Then, when Peggy and her family were at our house a while ago, her husband Scott says to me, "Have you ever planted watermelon before?"

A bit warily, I anwer, "Uh, no. Why?" Apparently, watermelon needs A LOT of room to grow. More than the one foot I gave it? I guess so.

Then this morning, I put the ol' sprinkler on the little garden. When we got back home at 9:30 tonight, I remembered about the sprinkler. Yep, it had been on ALL day. I'm no expert, but I'm guessing that's not really good for a garden.

So yeah, I'm a bit horticulturally-challenged. It's something I keep trying to combat, but I think it's time to just admit it. I suck.

Tag! I'm it!

2008-06-12T21:33:00.000-06:00

So, Peggy tagged me, and amazingly, I'm actually going to do it. It's not that I don't always have the best intentions to do these things, but somehow I manage to put them off until no one even remembers that they sent them to me. So here goes:

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
Let's see . . . 1998, huh? Ellis and I had just moved into the tiniest little 1-bedroom house you can imagine in Salem, Utah. And when I say tiny, I'm talking 600 sq. ft. If you stood in the center of the house, you could literally turn in a circle and see every room in the house. I was also doing an internship at Spanish Fork Middle School where I was basically a 1st-year English teacher, but they only had to pay me half salary.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today?

Exercise - check
Grocery shop - check
Weed the flower beds and/or garden - nope
Find a Father's Day present for my father-in-law - well, I didn't find it, but Jenni gave me a fantastic idea
Return this bag of stuff to Linens N Things that has been sitting on the floor of my bedroom making me crazy - CHECK

3.What are some snacks that I enjoy? Oh, where to start?

I love ice cream of all varieties except fruit flavors. Don't waste my time with strawberry ice cream, okay? And no, sherbet/sorbet is not ice cream.
Movie theater popcorn sans the nasty butter they're always wanting to squirt on it.
Cherry bites (you know, those little licorice bites? Yummy.)
Cold cereal (yes, it's a snack)
Jr. Mints . . . they're very refreshing!
Those little 100-cal packages of striped fudge shortbread cookies

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire.

Ah, let's see . . . pay off all of Ellis's student loans and buy a house with an actual garage attached to it. Give a whole load of it to charity -- I always want to do that, but I inevitably feel like we're too poor to contribute to anything. Then I feel guilty about it, and I always want to assure the grocery store clerk who wants me to donate to the Save the Children fund (every time I go through the line) that I really will donate once I actually have some money to donate. And yes, I do need that carton of ice cream. I'd like to team up with the Gates family and Bono and see what kind of good we could do. I would also love to travel to all the places that I've repeatedly made Ellis promise me we'd go someday.

5. Places I've lived.

California, Utah (Spanish Fork, Salem, and Midvale), and North Carolina.

Now I tag:

Debra, Kristy, Joey, and Jenni-O

Taking back the yard

2008-06-12T14:59:00.000-06:00

So, in the process of weeding this spring (during the times that it was actually warm enough to be outside), we discovered this big thistle growing in the back corner of our yard. It looked pretty big, but I wanted to get the flower beds weeded first before I tackled that part of the yard. Well, fast-forward 2 months, and this is what I find:

This thing was a complete monster. I made the kids stand by it to prove I wasn't exaggerating (and I have tall kids!) Right before I whacked the thing down and dug it up with the shovel, I kept having this nagging feeling that it was going to start singing to me, "Feed me, Jami," or I'd discover bodies hiding under it or something. It was a little creepy.

Peggy Rocks

2008-06-12T14:55:00.000-06:00

I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but . . . Peggy rocks! Just ask Larrin, her biggest fan.

Friday Free for All: Beam me up, Scottie!

2008-06-06T09:44:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: When Technology Goes Too Far . . .

Now, look, I’m all for advancements in technology. Yea for cell phones! Yea for laptops! Yea for flushing toilets! I know there’s a reason I wasn’t born in pioneer times, and I’m grateful for it daily. But seriously, there are some things about how people use all these new-fangled gadgets that just make me crazy (and yes, I know that indoor plumbing is not exactly new).

Let’s talk about the ol’ Bluetooth headsets that people are so fond of wearing these days. First of all, I don’t care how many people I see wearing them, they still look like they jumped out of a Star Trek episode to me (and in case you were wondering, that’s not a good thing).

Now, I understand the benefits to these things. My dad has one, and since he is on the road quite a bit for work, I’m glad he has something that aids his safety while driving.

But seriously, what is up with these people who insist on wearing their headsets 24 hours a day? A word of advice: if you’re not on the phone, take the stupid thing off! You look like an idiot.

And by the way, I'm just guessing here, but I think the best way to impress your date is not to look like a telemarketer on his coffee break. But that’s just me.

How well do you really know me?

2008-06-02T00:04:00.000-06:00

What Jami Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

The morale of the story, apparantly: Don't get in my way.

Friday Free for All: I'm Sorry

2008-05-30T14:34:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: Write a letter to someone apologizing for something you're not really sorry for.

Dear Kevin,

I’m really sorry about that yard sale that my sister, Jenni, and I put in front of your house back in college. That must have been really frustrating to see a “Welcome to Kevin Okleberry’s Wild World of Western Wear Yard Sale!” sign on your front lawn, when clearly you had no intention of holding a yard sale that Saturday morning.

I just hope you can forgive us for gathering up all our old clothes, unwanted boots, hats, puzzles, and whatever else we could find (including Jenni’s little brother’s underoos on which Jenni wrote “Lil’ Buckaroos”) and dumping them all in your yard or hanging them from the trees and bushes. We really should have just taken them to D.I. like they were originally intended.

I especially feel bad about the people who started knocking on your door early that morning, waking you up to ask you how much things were, and trying to give you a quarter for a pair of old jeans. I’m guessing you didn’t appreciate that since you’d been up late working the night before.

And it probably didn’t help matters that we put signs up on University Avenue directing people to your home and advertising the yard sale starting at 6:00 AM. We heard you got quite the crowd.

So, sorry about all that. But hey, no hard feelings, huh?

Sincerely,
Jami

Mitch Hedberg Take 2

2008-05-27T19:58:00.001-06:00

So, it looks like the video on my last post isn't working anymore, so I'm posting one more for those of you who may be interested.

Why I Love Mitch Hedberg

2008-05-24T22:22:00.001-06:00

So, once for my birthday, my brother Cody sent me an email with about a million quotes from Mitch Hedberg, a comdian he'd recently discovered. Seriously made me laugh so hard. Plus, I can't believe how long it had to have taken him to type them all up (not to mention, I don't think he's a speed typer, if you know what I mean.) That's the kind of brother he is, though.

Friday Free for All: The Camera Loves You

2008-05-23T21:10:00.001-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: Who should play you in the movie version of your life?

Well, maybe Kate Winslet, but not after Titanic and Sense and Sensibility when she got too thin, and uh, blonde.

When I asked Ellis who he thought, he said Julianne Moore. I'm not sure why. Maybe just because she has red hair? But, okay. I've always liked her.

And, of course, the hair is always a consideration. I mean, to really tell my life story, you'd have to include all the torment of having curly hair during my adolescence. For instance, Damian Anderson used to always tell me he'd lost something (his pencil, a calculator, a rake, a cooler of Pepsi . . . ) and start looking for it in my hair. Good times.

So, with that in mind, maybe we'd need to go with Nicole Kidman (back when she used to actually have curly hair) or Keri Russell. By the way, I just saw her in Waitress not too long ago, and WOW! I thought she was incredible. So, yeah, now that I think about it, I'd like her to play me in the movie of my life. Talk about talent. Although, she'd have to go back to curly. Come on, woman. Have some pride in your natural curl!

Hmmm . . . how accurate do you think this is?

2008-05-23T16:15:00.000-06:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's" Your Personality Type?

Friday Free for All: Tradition!

2008-05-16T23:42:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: Okay, we all know everyone has wonderful, cherished family and holiday traditions we just couldn't live without. (I mean, hey, where would Halloween be if I didn't traditionally sneak candy out of my kids treat bags after they've gone to bed?) But what are some of your traditions that you could really do without?

I know this really makes me into some sort of crappy mom, but if there's one family tradition I could do without, it would be our bedtime traditions.

It all started innocently enough. When Larrin was just a little gal, we began the whole night time process: bath, reading stories, brushing teeth (when she got some), saying prayers together, both of us tucking her into bed and talking with her for a while before saying good night. It was kind of a nice little nightly routine.

Okay, so here we are a couple of kids later, and there is nothing I dread so much as bedtime. I try to sneak out of it whenever I can. You know, last minute trips to the store (oops! We're out of milk!) or to the library (I totally forgot this movie was due back today!), but I usually can't get out of it.

Anymore, it just seems like such a fight to get them to do anything at bedtime. It's a battle of cleaning up of toys, putting on pajamas, picking out clothes for the next day (for the school-bound), and countless other little tasks that for some reason, can only be accomplished in the minutes before the kids are supposed to be in bed.

I just want them to go to bed. Is that so wrong? So why does it take SO long?? It should be a fairly simple process, but usually you'll hear one or more of the following from me or Ellis during the traditional bedtime scenario:

"Marley, would you get off the toilet already? You've already been in there for 10 minutes."

"Lucy! Lucy, come here! Lucy! Lucy! No, kneel down for prayers. No, kneel. No, get off your sister! Just come here! No, you can jump after prayers. Kneel down!!" (Really sets the tone for the moment.)

"Who left all the Polly Pockets out?"

"Has everyone had vitamins? Who hasn't? Marley, why did you take another one from me if you've already had one??"

"Only one story tonight, and I mean it! If this room isn't cleaned up in five minutes, then NO stories! You think I'm kidding?"

"Larrin, why didn't you tell me earlier that this flag had to be colored for school tomorrow? You told me all your homework was done!"

"Okay, just one more joke, and then you need to go to sleep. Seriously, this is the last one."

"Will you two STOP fighting before I lose my mind?!"

"Why does NO ONE have their pajamas on yet??"

Okay, now, I love my children. And I do love being with them, and reading them books, and listening to their jokes. I just don't want to do it at bedtime. That's when I just want to go hide somewhere else in the house with a book and some Oreos until they're all in bed. Look, I hate the whole process of getting myself in bed . . . taking out the contacts, brushing teeth, putting on pajamas. It's all a big hassle. So, I can hardly be expected to enjoy doing it for three other people, can I?

To Be a Mother

2008-05-11T13:37:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite stories . . . never fails to make me bawl like a baby.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

"To Be a Mother"

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations . . ."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé on her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for a babysitter, but one day she will be going out shopping and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, the issue of independence will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years--not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her children accomplish theirs.

I want my daughter to know that her relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of anything that might destroy my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . that of being a Mother.

"Author Unknown"

Friday Free for All: Leading a Double Life

2008-05-09T09:12:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: What do you, or would you, hide from your kids?

My addictions. And like any good addict, I hide them well. During the day, I limit how much TV my children watch, how much sugary stuff they eat, and [attempt to] force them to eat their vegetables. I’m strict about bedtime (although, let’s face it – this is probably more about my need for sanity at the end of the day than about them getting their beauty sleep.)

After the kids are in bed, though, I lead a double life. Think Angelina Jolie’s character in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, only instead of assassinating people for a living and wearing lingerie under a trench coat, my secret identity involves eating large quantities of ice cream and staying up late watching crap on TV while wearing old sweats.

So, yeah, I’m a hypocrite. I admit it. Ellis and I have often bemoaned the fact that one day our kids won’t be going to bed at 8:30, and then how are we going to hide the batch of no-bake cookies that we eat all in one sitting? Or the fact that we’ll stay up until 2:00 in the morning watching episodes of 24 or Arrested Development?

The other tricky part is that as the kids get older, it’s getting harder to hide my stash. I think they’re on to me. I’m having to get more creative with my hiding spots. Look, it’s for their own good. I know that it’s not good to eat a bunch of cookies or candy bars (hey, they were 4 for $1 at Maverick, okay?) every day. I hide the cookies so that they can maintain their health, and so their teeth won’t rot out of their heads. Yeah, I love them that much. One day they’ll thank me. (Or maybe not, if I find a good enough hiding place . . . )

Pals? I don't think so.

2008-05-08T11:26:00.000-06:00

So, I decided that I really need to make some changes to my eating habits since lately I seem to be consuming more than my share (and 4 or 5 other people's share) of food items that may not necessarily fall in the "healthy" food category. I found this website, www.myfitnesspal.com, that helps you keep track of what you are eating. It seemed pretty cool because you can choose to have it track your carbs, protein, fat, calcium, fiber, or whatever you want.

Then, I started using it. And let me just tell you something, My Fitness Pal is no pal of mine. Do you think I really need someone (okay, thing) telling me that 3 Oreo cookies has 160 calories? I mean, who in their right mind eats only 3?? I ate the whole row, and then had to log it into the site. Let's just talk about how humiliating that was.

If My Fitness Pal was a real friend, it would tell me that only the first 3 Oreos counted. Or, like my sister, that all the fat and calories are in the last bite, and if you don't eat the last bite, then you don't eat all the fat and calories.

Where's the love, pal? I don't need to hear about it if I choose not to exercise one day (or one week, whatever), okay? A true friend wouldn't bring up such a touchy subject. A true friend would just tell me that I still look good in my favorite jeans, and then we'd go to Cold Stone to celebrate.

So don't go trying to convince me that we're friends, okay? I know what you really are. And would you just shut up about a serving of ice cream being only 1/2 cup?

National Health Care?? [Gasp!]

2008-05-07T15:10:00.000-06:00

So, I was talking with my good friend Jenni-O the other day (although she has been married for years now, I still reserve the right to retain the O on her name) about her grandmother who just went through quadruple by-pass surgery and the many woes she has experienced of late with the health care industry in general. Ridiculous, really, but I think everyone has their horror stories of health care and health insurance, in particular.

It got me thinking about a movie that Ellis and I watched the other night called Sicko by Michael Moore. Now, I know what you're thinking -- that Michael Moore is crazy! Well, at least, I always thought he was, and I never had any desire to see any of his movies. Oh yeah, I'd heard all the hype about him, and I wasn't interested.

Well, Ellis has read several of his books, and he picked up Sicko at the library. I didn't really want to watch it, but he threw it in one night while I was holding a sick, little Lucy for a few hours, and I was pretty defenseless.

So here's the thing: the movie was fantastic! Seriously, it was completely entertaining (Moore is very funny) and very informative. I guess I hadn't realized that we were one of the few countries in the Western Hemisphere without national health care. Not only that, so many of the beliefs I had about national health care were dispelled.

Here are just a few of those myths:
1. You have to wait hours in waiting rooms, or months to have surgeries. Well, according to the people in Canada, France, and England that Moore interviewed, that's just not true.

2. You can't pick which doctor you go to. Again, not true. With national health care, all doctors are paid through the government, so you can go to any of them.

3. Doctors aren't paid as well. Well, according to a doctor Moore interviewed in England, this doctor feels he's doing pretty well. He is a family doctor who makes about $200,000 a year, lives in a million-dollar home, and drives some fancy car (I can't remember what it was). The nice thing was, he only had a mortgage to worry about because his college career was paid for! He basically had no debt. Huh, that would be nice.

Overall, though, I think we all know that our health care system is a big, fat mess right now. Something really has to be done. When I think about how much money Americans fork out every year for insurance that doesn't even pay for much of the actual health care needed, I feel literally sick.

The thing that really got me, though, was the comment Michael Moore makes at the end of the movie. He questions what kind of country we are that we don't take care of our own people. I wonder that, too.

I think of all the people out there who can't afford health insurance (or even those that can, but it doesn't cover their needs). Are they less deserving of good health care? What has happened to us, as a country, that we won't even take care of our own people? Why is money the overriding motivator here? Why have we not adopted a system that allows every person in this country to get the care they need, whether they are poor or rich?

So, let me just say that I highly recommend this movie. I'm kind of mad at myself for falling for all the crap talk against Moore without every having actually seen any movies he's made or read any of his books. I hate that I made such knee-jerk reactions without even being informed. Sicko was great.

I'm off my soap-box now.

I Can't Wait Until I'm 8

2008-05-04T19:48:00.000-06:00

Well, it finally happened. I have a kid old enough to be baptized! Which, of course, means that I'm old enough to have a kid old enough to be baptized. Larrin was baptized and confirmed yesterday afternoon, and the whole weekend proved to be a pretty emotional one for me. All of our family on both sides (who live in the state . . . and few who don't) were there, and we felt so blessed to have such love and support from them.

Grandma Jensen made Larrin this beautiful baptism cake. She is amazingly talented. (Can you see the River Jordan and John baptizing Jesus on the top?)

Papa Bliss was one of the witnesses, and Nana was our chorister.

Grandpa Jensen was the other witness, and Grandma gave the opening prayer.

The stake assigned us to do a musical number, and I couldn't believe our luck at having Cody and Kristy's family there this weekend so they could participate. Larrin's cousins Addison and Kennedy are her same age, so this is a big baptism year for our family. We put together a medley for the baptism of "If the Savior Stood Beside Me" (Larrin's favorite) and "How Will They Know?" (my favorite). The three girls sang the first part, and then their moms (Kristy, Joey, and I) sang "How Will They Know?"

Kristy and Joey's amazing vocal talents really made the song so beautiful.

And, of course, Peggy was there bearing flowers and gifts, as only Peggy would do. Larrin would still rather live at her house than ours.

Fate seemed to be with us for this baptism. Not only did we get Cody and Kristy's family (see chunky baby Ava above), but it also happened to be the day before Alyssa left for China! Larrin was so happy she got to be there.

Overall, it was an amazing day. I can't believe how lucky we are to have a daughter like Larrin who has made such good choices and has such a beautiful spirit. She bore her testimony today in Sacrament meeting about how she felt when she got baptized, and I was thinking, "Where did this kid come from? How in the world did I deserve her?" I'm just so thankful she is in my life and for the example she is to her two little sisters.

FFA: Too Cool. Always.

2008-05-02T20:37:00.000-06:00

Friday Free For All Topic of the week: What is the lamest thing you ever did as a teenager that you thought was SOOOOO cool?

Like Jenni, I think my problem is that I still think the things I did as a teenager were cool, but I think the bigger problem wass that I just thought the things I did were funny. Whether or not anyone else seemed to think so.

Exhibit A: Jenni and I convinced a kid in our 9th grade math class that her middle name was "Liberty Bell." We thought we were hilarious. (Yeah, I still think we were.)

Exhibit B: A bunch of friends and I used to make our own movies. We did a complete episode of The Newly-Wed Game and several episodes of our own Saturday Night Live. Again, we thought we were so funny. Those who had different kinds of plans on their Friday nights may have disagreed.

But I called my very oldest friend, Alyse, last night to brainstorm for some ideas. We both agreed that almost everything we did when we were younger was completely dorky, even though we thought we were awesome. We just couldn't remember very many of them. Oh sure, there were the photo shoots staged in my bedroom, or the times we made up and recorded our own songs on my tape recorder, or even the way Alyse used to yell out whenever she saw someone wearing camoflage pants -- "He's not wearing any pants! I can't see his pants!"

But one instance stood out in both our minds that I've decided to include even though it would have to fall into the "tween" category, rather than teen years. Some of you may or may not remember the cartoon phenomenon of the 80s called Jem and Holograms. Jem was a totally cool rock star (believe me, she was cool) and in her band, the Holograms, were her friends Kimber, Aja, and Shana.

Well, one year when I got a Jem doll for my birthday, you can imagine how ecstatic I was to find that it came with a tape with 3 of the Jem and the Holograms songs on it! And here's the really exciting part -- the other side of the tape had just the instrumental of those 3 songs. I think you can see where this is headed.

That's right -- our own rock band. I was Jem (hey, it was my tape, okay?), Alyse was Aja, and Denise was Kimber. We couldn't convince any of our other friends to be Shana, surprisingly.

So we practiced our three songs for hours in the back of an abandoned old horse trailer (which conveniently had no top to it) in this weedy old yard behind my back yard. We were so cool. We envisioned cleaning up all the weeds and holding a huge and awesome concert there.

Now, okay, we weren't dumb. We realized that 3 songs weren't exactly enough for a whole concert. So we allowed a neighbor boy to be our drummer if he would also tell jokes in between our songs. It was gold.

Even better, Alyse's dad worked for the city, and she was sure that he would be able to get us a gig playing at the city park or maybe even at the high school. Our dreams were big. You may be surprised to learn that the concert never came to fruition. I think it was all those blasted weeds. Weeding just wasn't a top priority when clearly band practice came first. (Oh, did I mention that all our instruments were of the "air" variety?)

Yeah, that's what stopped us from achieving fame and fortune. The weeds.

What Happens in Vegas . . .

2008-04-30T16:21:00.001-06:00

SisterFest '08 was held in Las Vegas this last weekend (can you hear me weeping over leaving the 80 degree weather?), and although Nic couldn't join us this year, we still managed to find hilarity in, well, pretty much every situation.

I now give you SisterFest: Las Vegas -- the Highlights

Joey waits to pounce on an unsuspecting Marilyn. (Either that, or the dressing room was actually meant to hold only one person.)

We stayed in the most beautiful hotel. We're talking granite countertops, travertine floors, flat screen TV, beautiful pools, the works. Here Joey and I model our new matching skirts (no, we don't really aspire to look like twins, even though everyone asked us if we were. We just happen to have the same taste in clothes. If she wears her skirt on the same day I do, I will beat her.)

Also, the seductive pose over the stove shows who wants to be America's Next Top Model. (Hint: it's not me.)

Who needs dressing rooms? This sports bra fits great! (And yes, Joey was thrilled I opted to take my camera everywhere we went. I think you can see how invaluable it was.)

Visual proof of Mom filling up the car. She can do it! It took some step-by-step instruction, but as you can see, she was successful.

At one point, Joey tried to take off in one of the hotel golf carts that a maintenance guy so foolishly left in the parking garage while he went up in the elevator. Unfortunately for us, he also took the keys with him. And he started coming back down before we could push it anywhere. You will be happy to know that we made a successful getaway (just not in the golf cart).

Joey shows off Marilyn's parallel parking skills while the homeless guy harrassed us outside the Don Carlos Restaurant.

My personal favorite -- the picture of "Grandma" inside the bathroom at the Don Carlos Restaurant. While you can probably appreciate the monobrow, facial hair, and pet parrots, what you can't see is the the cigarette she also has dangling from one hand.

FFA (about 12 days late . . . )

2008-04-28T21:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, okay, I know. This is clearly not Friday, yet here I am posting my FFA (for last week). Cut me some slack, people! Have you, or have you not read the title of my blog? I named it that for a reason. So you're just going to have to accept the fact that I can't always be there for you. At least, not every Friday.

Last Week's FFA topic --
Dreams: Are you crazy or can you tell the future?

All I can say is, I better be crazy because most of my dreams are not exactly how I anticipated my life turning out. I occasionally have vivid dreams that I remember forever, but mostly I forget them soon after I wake up.

A couple that I remember VERY clearly happened soon after Ellis and I got married. The first dream involved me finding out that Ellis was engaged to marry another girl in our ward (and we were still married!) Everyone in the ward kept telling me I just needed to support my husband in this decision. Uh, no. So I ran away, and for some reason found a roller coaster my best mode of transportation.

The second dream also involved Ellis being married to someone else, but in this case, he was stealthy about it. He'd already been married to her for several years, and they had a baby. But he kept them both hidden away on a houseboat at Lake Powell which I managed to discover to my shock and horror one day while I was hiking around Lake Powell (you know, it's one of my usual Sunday afternoon hiking trails . . .)

When I woke up from both of those dreams, I was so mad at Ellis that I just wanted to throttle him. I was very accusatory with him for days.

According to a dream website I just looked at, my dreams can be interpreted as this: (keep in mind, this was right after we were first married, and apparently I had some issues I wasn't aware of. I haven't dreamed it since.)

"To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel some lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. "

Huh. Really doesn't look too good for me either way.

Friday Free for All

2008-04-18T23:56:00.001-06:00

Okay, how pathetic is it that I haven’t blogged since the last FFA post? Seriously, my week has been so crazy, that I’ve had to completely neglect my blogging commitments altogether. I’m hoping to be back on the wagon this next week.

So here it is – FFA topic of the week: What is the worst thing you ever did to your siblings? What is the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you?

My sisters are 5 and 8 years older than me, and believe me, when I was younger, that felt like a big difference. And while I’m sure there was continual torment of the younger siblings, one particular episode stands out in my mind. The details are a bit vague, but it involved Nicole and Joey sitting on Cody and me and giving us melvins (Bliss lingo for “wedgies”). Every time Cody and I tried to crawl out of the living room with a shred of our underwear still tucked in our pants, they kept dragging us back in for more. I remember it felt like it went on for hours while they laughed hysterically at our efforts to escape their demonic torture.

As for my own brand of torment, I don’t think I did any one thing that was so terrible, but rather an accumulation of the small and annoying.

Joey was always wanting to beat me for sneaking into her closet and borrowing her clothes without asking. Hey, it’s not my fault she had much better style than I did. I figure, she was just asking for a groupie (who liked to borrow her clothes).

Cody’s personal hell were all the over-turned cups he’d find all over downstairs where I’d imprisoned a variety of spiders and crickets for him to kill. I just couldn’t bring myself to ever do it, and if he wasn’t home, I’d just save them for him to kill when he did get home.

TJ, poor TJ. Being the youngest of the brood, he really got the brunt of it. I think I considered him my personal servant for most of his youth. If I’d given him a dime for every glass of water, snack, Kleenex, pillow, or blanket I made him run fetch for me, well, . . . . let’s just say the indentured servant situation was a much better financial deal for me.

Friday Free for All

2008-04-11T07:38:00.000-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week: What is your least favorite thing about being a grownup?

Well, for one thing, I hate having to clean up other people’s messes. You know, it's bad enough when you're a kid and you have to clean up your own toys, but when you're an adult (especially a parent), suddenly you're responsible for cleaning up all sorts of varied (but invariably unpleasant) things. Kid gets sick -- you're the one scrubbing throw-up out of the carpet. Baby gets into the vaseline and smears it all over herself, the couch, and the carpet -- yep, you guessed it. You're the one trying desperately to find something (anything) that will get Vaseline out of carpet and a baby's hair (Marley looked like a greaseball for a week.)

Case in point: Marley and Lucy wanted to help me bring in the groceries earlier this week. I'm not one to argue free labor, so I let them. Naturally, Marley first grabs a gallon of milk and starts lugging it into the house. "Hey!" I say. "Isn't that a little heavy for you?"

"Nope. I'm really strong. I can carry it, see?" So, I figure, "I guess she is really strong." Marley carries the milk in and comes back outside for another one. This gallon, however, only manages to make it just inside the door when I hear a crash and an "Oops!"

I rush inside to see the aforementioned gallon of milk broken on the floor and seeping milk everywhere, cleverly spraying shoes, the walls, and part of a chair. What's better is that Marley and Lucy both grab rags and rush to start cleaning it up, only to spread milk even more by stepping in it and tracking it all over. Thanks, kids.

The evidence I submit below only shows about half of what was spilled. I didn't think to take the pictures until I had already sopped up the biggest puddle.

But another thing I resent about being an adult is being tired all the time. I want to say this all started with the onset of motherhood but I can distinctly remember being tired through most of my college career. I even had my favorite places all over campus to take a quick nap between classes . . . under a stairwell, on a couch in a lobby full of other students, the library, or sometimes just on the floor somewhere where I meant to be studying. Before you start thinking this is strange (and, I’ll admit it, slightly pathetic) behavior to just sack out on the floor somewhere in public, go take a tour of BYU campus. I can guarantee that I was not the only one.

But maybe I'm only saying this because I'm so tired right now.

Jump Crazy

2008-04-10T17:51:00.000-06:00

Lucy's new favorite activity is jumping on the trampoline . . . whether someone is around to supervise or not. Ellis and I both think it looks so hilarious to see her body basically stay in the same place while her knees move up and down with the trampoline.

On this particular occasion, Lucy's friend Jack was trying to convince her to get off the trampoline to play with him (IE: push him on the swing). It usually takes quite a bit to get her off, but apparently Jack's request was very compelling. (By the way, I enjoyed many such conversations between Jack, age 3, and Lucy, age 2, during the few hours he was at our house.)

Addendum:

Ellis just told me that I need to add a transcript of the conversation because he wasn't sure what they were saying. So for the hearing impaired, here you go.

Jack: Lucy!

Lucy: What?

Jack: Come here!

Lucy: Um, what?

Jack: I want you to play with me.

Lucy: I can't play with you. I'm jumping!

Jack: Can you swing me? (I think this is what he said)

Lucy: Uh, yeah. I get down.

Friday Free for All

2008-04-04T10:08:00.000-06:00

This week's FFA topic: Write a 20 word poem. Must include the word "sombrero."

Eyes closed, fingers trembling,
Anticipation mounting,
A thunk, an upward glance.
What the . . .?
Is that a . . .?
Yes. Yes, it is.
It’s a sombrero.

Dedicated to Ellis: Thanks for always finding new and exciting ways to humiliate me in public on my birthday.

To Peggy: I don’t want to hear anything about being forced to wear fairy wings and a pimp hat. It's clearly not the same thing.

I just had to add one more poem under this topic that I dedicate to my brother, TJ – a true William Carlos Williams fan.

“the red sombrero”

so much depends upon
a red sombrero
glazed with taco sauce
beside the white Bajios franchise.

I demand Poetry!

2008-04-01T19:20:00.000-06:00

In honor of National Poetry month, I thought I'd post a few of my favorite poems. If I can find them, I'll also post a few from my high school days written by some friends of mine. Jenni Walton-Cragun (as I like to think of her) came up with a few gems when we were learning masculine and feminine rhyme scheme during AP English. I'll see what I can find, but until then, you'll have to be satisfied with these poems by a somewhat more well-known crowd.

"Credo" by Jack London

I would rather be ashes than dust!

I would rather that my spark should burn out

in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom

of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

The function of man is to live, not to exist.

I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.

I shall use my time.

"Cow Poetry" by Gary Larsen

"Metaphors" by Sylvia Plath

I'm a riddle in nine syllables,

An elephant, a ponderous house,

A melon strolling on two tendrils.

O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!

This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.

Money's new-minted in this fat purse.

I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.

I've eaten a bag of green apples,

Boarded the train there's no getting off.

Friday Free for All

2008-03-28T12:09:00.000-06:00

And the FFA topic of the week is . . .

If I were a fashion runway model . . .

Well, for one thing, I would need to stop eating immediately and acquire a nicotine and/or crack habit pretty quickly. I’m a little worried, though, about how I would do on the actual runway what with trying not to fall over. Not from the 4-inch heeled strappy sandals, but from low blood sugar. I don’t do so well when I’m hungry.

Mostly, I think if I were a fashion runway model, it would only be because I was undercover, trying to implicate 7-foot tall scowling yardsticks in a drug ring. Not that I'm implying models do drugs . . . I'm just saying.

But I’m thinking it would go down much like that episode from 3rd Rock from the Sun where Sally has to infiltrate a group of alien models who are trying to take over the world. In order to trick the super-models into letting her join them, Sally has to go through intensive model training with them.

She has to learn how to walk in tiny skirts and skyscraper heels, and they teach her different looks (a la Zoolander). Show me “frightened”! Show me “seductive”! Show me “sleepy”! Show me “startled”! Show me “angry”! (By the way, I’m pretty sure I could pull off all of these . . . except maybe “seductive.” Just ask my kids about the rest.)

At the end of the training, she is exhausted and, of course, starving. They bring her out a big cheeseburger on a silver platter, and offer it to her. Her fingers tremble as she reaches toward it, but she carefully only takes one of the baby carrots off the plate and nibbles one bite. Then she yells out incredulously, “I’m full!” The models all cheer and hug her, knowing now she is truly one of them.

I’m thinking that’s the only way the runway model crowd is going to believe I actually belong there. I think I can pull it off.

Thoughts on the model lifestyle:

Plus: Getting to keep any of the clothes and/or shoes.
Minus: The clothes only fit sizes 0, -2, and -4, and oh yeah, where would I wear them?

Plus: Being thin.
Minus: Daily caloric intake of 500 (most of which is burned off by the nicotine or thrown back up).

Plus: Being tall
Minus: Hitting your head on door frames.

Plus: Getting into movie premiers and elite clubs based solely on looks.
Minus: I live in Utah. The only movie premiers and elite clubs consist of the latest Work and the Glory movie and the occasional ward function.

Plus: Having someone else pick out my clothes and do my hair and makeup.
Minus: Having to actually wear the clothes and having freakshow hair.

Plus: No more love handles.
Minus: No more eating frosting directly from the container.

Uh, I think I'm going to give up my modeling career.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know . . .

2008-03-25T12:39:00.000-06:00

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly.

You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.

People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

How Things Are at My House

2008-03-24T23:44:00.001-06:00

So, Sundays at my house go about like this: I frantically get everyone ready for church that begins at 9:00 AM (3 little girls + 3 heads of hair = no time to actually do my own hair). We run/walk briskly to church, usually because we leave after 9:00 (Hey, don't judge me. Did you catch the part about how I have three girls to get ready?) Lucy is a mute during Nursery but can't shut up during Sacrament meeting (she's the ward commentator, just in case you're missing anything that might be going on in the chapel). Ellis is embarrassed and thinks the whole ward can hear her, but I know they can't hear anything over the roar of their own children.

After church, we head back home where I slap together a few sandwiches for lunch and then throw Lucy in bed for a nap. More importantly, I then throw myself in bed for my own nap while the other two fend for themselves until Ellis gets home from doing finances and can entertain them. This is our deal.

FYI: if you come between me and my Sunday afternoon nap, you may lose a limb. Consider yourself forewarned.

So after I groggily pulled myself out of bed yesterday, Ellis told me about this Sunday's afternoon entertainment.

Larrin had created her own restaurant called "Smelly Nelly's" complete with signs, directions, and menus. Don't ask about the name because I really don't know. She informed Ellis that he had a reservation there for two. Ellis picked up his date (Marley) and paid 50 cents for a delicious plastic meal.

Marley told Ellis that they were married. She was 75 and he was 65 (because he's older than her), and they were celebrating her birthday. They had 5 kids, but the kids were home with the babysitter because they were just little. After their meal, the rest of the date would include a movie (a short one) and a visit to the bouncy house at Classic Skating. Marley is one active senior citizen, but Ellis just hoped his hip would hold out.

Friday Free for All

2008-03-21T08:37:00.001-06:00

FFA Topic of the Week:
For reasons beyond your powers to comprehend, you know that you will soon become the sole survivor of a trans-Atlantic plane crash and will be stranded on a desert island. You do not question your new-found psychic powers, but instead, you start packing the essentials. What 10 things will you take with you?

1. The flannel quilt my mom made for me in high school. It is extremely worn, the colors are faded, and there are a few places where a briefly-owned pet chewed holes in it (Gabby, I still haven’t forgiven you.) It might not make sense to take a flannel quilt to what is probably a tropical island, but hear me out. This blanket is the softest, most comfortable thing I own. My favorite thing in the world is to wrap up in it so completely that only enough of my face is exposed to allow adequate breathing. So even if it never gets cold enough on aforementioned island to wrap up in it (and who’s to say the nights won’t get chilly?), it would at least be more comfortable than sand or palm fronds for lying on. I must have comfort!

2. Peanut butter. I admit it – I have a serious peanut butter addiction. It’s not like I have to have it everyday or anything, but the thought of going any extended length of time without it makes me a little edgy. Easter time comes around, and I’m practically drooling in the grocery store because of those Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. Besides, it’s full of protein and fat (which while I may not need here, I’m betting will come in handy on my deserted island).

3. Books. Okay, a must-have. But how to narrow it down? I refuse to only take one. I must have a small selection to get me by until I am rescued (that was part of the deal, right?) So probably Pride and Prejudice, A Room with a View, A Girl Named Zippy (I’m going to need a good laugh), and my Book of Mormon, of course.

4. Soap and a towel. So maybe this is due to the fact that I deal with grimy children on a daily basis, but I hate being dirty. I’m the weird one in the family who eats most of her food with a fork, even if it’s finger food. I don’t like that greasy or grimy feeling on my hands.

5. Toilet paper. I think this one’s fairly obvious. Look, some of us have sensitive skin, okay? (P.S. Another reason I don’t love to camp.)

6. Toothbrush and toothpaste. I do not deal well with morning mouth. I have never understood how anyone could leave the house in the morning without brushing their teeth . . . although I have certainly encountered people who have done it.

7. Sunscreen. Let’s face it, I do not tan, I never have, and (I’m just guessing here) I never will. The best I can do is get a light burn and a whole slew of freckles. So if I’m going to have to face the ravages of nonstop sun exposure without the benefit of getting a really good tan, the least I can do is prevent skin cancer.

8. Notebook and writing utensils. Now I’ll finally write that novel I’ve been dreaming about!

9. Swimming suit. Well, this might seem like a weird one, but I really hate to wear wet clothes. So if I have to get wet, I’d rather be wearing a swimming suit (don’t want the natives coming across me in the nude . . .)

10. Multiplier. So Ellis has this thing called a Gerber Multiplier that he probably couldn’t function without. It’s like a little handy pliers thing, but it also has knives and blades and scissors and wire cutters and files and stuff like that attached to it (that all fold down into one little guy). Anyway, I don’t really know how the thing works, but it looks like it would be a handy thing to have on an island. . . especially if Jack from Lost came along and wanted to build me a shelter or feed me grapes or something . . .

The Friday Free for All Begins . . .

2008-03-20T18:13:00.001-06:00

In what may prove to be a critically acclaimed move in the blogging world, some friends and I decided to begin a weekly posting called "Friday Free for All," or FFA for short. We compiled a long list of topics, choosing one each week to post on Friday.

The exciting thing for me is to finally be a member of the FFA. The Future Farmers of America is a club elite in my hometown of Spanish Fork, Utah, but unfortunately, I never wore the Wranglers or boots, I never learned to saddle up my hoss, and well, frankly, I never learned how to farm. So sufficeth to say, I was never allowed to join the ol' FFA. That, and I never actually tried to join. But hey, they never asked me to, either! It goes both ways, FFA.

So the newly formed FFA will begin our posts this week, and I'm happy to say there are no dress codes or farming prerequisites involved (take that, future farmers!) Whether this venture will be as successful as the aforementioned high school club remains to be seen.

Look tomorrow for our first posting!

Band of Brothers

2008-03-19T17:20:00.000-06:00

Okay, just a quick note about our latest late-night viewing series. Has anyone else seen Band of Brothers? I think it was an HBO series at one time, but Ellis and I have been getting it from the library and watching it late every night because it's too hard to stop watching. Seriously amazing. (Although I have been really tired every day.)

It's so well-done and completely gripping that even though I feel like I may fall asleep on my feet before I can even get the kids into bed, once we start watching Band of Brothers, I'm immediately alert. Now, I'm notorious for falling asleep while watching, um, well, anything at night. I often wake up and find myself huddled on the couch by myself at 2:00 in the morning, silently cursing Ellis for leaving me there alone. (He repeatedly claims he "tries" to wake me up before finally going to bed, but I'm not buying it.)

But back to Band of Brothers. I absolutely cannot fall asleep watching this. I'm too tense during the whole thing. For those who, like me, didn't really know anything about it, the series is about a company of American WWII paratroopers. You see them go through D-Day at Normandy, Market Garden, and the infamous winter at Batogne (I actually have no idea if I'm spelling that right -- Peggy?) It's totally horrifying to see this portrayal of a war I already knew to be horrific.

Something I really love about this series is how each episode is told a little differently. You get different perspectives and different tellings -- sometimes just shown from a particular soldier's point of view, sometimes with a 1st person narrative going on. So incredibly well acted, directed, edited, etc. We have just two discs left in the series, and I'm really anxious to see how it turns out. Okay, yes, I know we won that war. But you would not believe how heart-wrenching it is to see these guys who have bonded and fought together for over two years get blown apart (literally) and have to deal with both the physical and mental casualties of war.

If you have not seen it, go to your library (or Blockbuster if you're not cheap like us), and get it. Now.

True Confession

2008-03-15T16:29:00.000-06:00

Okay, yes, I do have children. Three of them, actually. A friend of mine mentioned recently how her last 13 blog postings have been about her children, and nothing else. Well, she recently had a baby, so naturally we all want to see and hear about little T-bird (as I call him). But I started realizing that none of my postings have been about my children, and lest people think I don't like them, I thought perhaps I should mention them occasionally.

So prepare yourselves. What you are about to see is pictures (lots of them) and commentary revolving around my girls Larrin, Marley, and Lucy.

I'm including this picture of the girls drinking hot chocolate (something they insist on whenever it snows) because it's snowing again, for crap's sake. It's like a blizzard out there. Doesn't March make it spring??

Lucy, ever helpful.

Ellis usually takes over at bedtime. My gratitude knows no depths.

Larrin and Marley volunteer to do Lucy's hair. Clearly, she was not an unwilling participant.

More is always better . . .

Once Marley saw how beautiful Lucy's hair looked, she decided to fancy up her own 'do. Mission accomplished.

Larrin invites Marley to a duel of the shovels. (Note to self: do not let the kids watch Star Wars with Ellis anymore.)

The battle ensues.

Apparently, Larrin won. (Ellis will be thrilled to see they've found yet another use for the shovels. So then when it's actually snowing -like today-, and a shovel might be useful, they will be nowhere to be found.)

Lucy wouldn't put a jacket on that day but insisted that she needed Larrin's scarf. She is, of course, always our wild card. She talks non-stop, learned to count to 20 by herself right after she turned two (um, was I supposed to be helping her with that?), runs -and I mean runs- everywhere she goes, and loves to terrorize Marley by pinching her whenever the mood strikes her. She's the first child I've had to worry about moving the furniture around so she could climb on it to reach whatever she happens to think she needs (like the fruit snacks, or "snoot snacks" as she calls them, from the top shelf of the pantry). If only I could harness her powers for good . . .

Well, one my sweet little rug-rats just created a minor catastrophe (again), so I guess the plethora of pictures must end for now. I promise I'll throw more in here every once in a while.

The Best New Diet of 2008!

2008-03-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a new weight-loss plan, I inadvertantly discovered what may be the most effective inhibitor of calories yesterday. If you follow my simple 2-step plan, you will be on your way to a newer, slimmer you! I call it the "Tight Pants Diet" (copyright pending).

Step one: Get out a pair of pants that are slightly snug. You know what I'm talking about -- that pair of pants you've been holding onto for when you finally lose that last 5 or 10 pounds. The ones you can actually put on but that pinch off your midsection, or just in general won't let you breathe comfortably.

Step two: Wear the pants.

Congratulations! Putting the plan into action was the hardest part. Now you can just sit back and watch those pounds melt away.

The Science Behind the Method

Wearing the tight pants does two things for you:

1. By contracting in on your stomach, the pants make you feel that you've just eaten a large meal. You won't want to eat anything because you'll think you already ate!

2. Even if you do get hungry, the way the pants painfully cinch around your waist and/or hips creates a very unattractive bulging of skin and fat. You will be too disgusted by your own appearance to eat anything but carrots and celery all day.

And it's just that easy! Call today and receive the complete "Tight Pants Diet" method for the low, low price of just three easy payments of $39.95! (Pants not included).

Stephen Colbert -- An American Hero

2008-03-05T15:25:00.000-07:00

So, I just finished reading Stephen Colbert's I Am America (and So Can You!), and it was one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. If you are a fan of my favorite pseudo-UberRepublican, then you should really check it out. I love watching The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, but this book is even more ridiculously funny.

And if you haven't seen his speech from the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, you must go to this link and watch it. I love how George Bush is completely unamused through the whole thing, and even the audience starts to get a little uncomfortable at laughing. It's fantastic.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-869183917758574879

Cereal and Road Rage

2008-03-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

So, inspired by Peggy's latest post (which, by the way, is an extremely entertaining one. . . you should check it out) and her recent disparagement of my ability to post more often, I've decided to keep in tradition of almost all my other posts revolving around food and dedicate this one (at least in part) to what may possibly be the world's perfect food:

Yes, I'm talking about cold cereal. The reasons for its perfection are fourfold. 1) It is cold (thus its name) and makes milk taste good. 2) It can be eaten as a meal or a snack (just ask my 2-year-old [or her mother] during church). 3)It is relatively low in calories, so unless eaten by the boxful, you don't even have to feel guilty about eating it. At least, I don't usually feel guilty about it. 4) And this is maybe most important -- it is ready in mere seconds. You're walking through the kitchen late at night really craving a tasty snack to eat while you watch Arrested Development, but clearly you don't want to take the time or energy to make cookies (or run to the store for ice cream). You open the pantry, and BAM! There it is -- the answer to all your snack problems -- Cookie Crunch Cereal. Little cookies all ready for the eating in just the seconds it takes to pour them into your bowl.

And, as a subsection of reason #2, it can be eaten without milk. So if for some reason, someone (your spouse) has used up the last of the milk without telling you, and you've already poured said bowl of Cookie Crunch, you're still good to go. Those tiny cookies are just as happy to be eaten dry out of a cup.

There are rules, however, that must be followed when consuming cereal. Sugary cereal cannot be eaten for breakfast. It just can't. It's like eating donuts for breakfast. Sure, some of you may think that donuts were invented for that exact purpose, but you have been misled. Sugar that early in the morning will only make you sick. Okay, it makes me sick. And I really have no use for those gut-bloating breakfasts of pancakes, eggs, or waffles. Those sorts of meals were clearly meant to be for dinner (my husband may disagree, but I don't see him coming up with any ideas for dinner. And I know my dad has my back on this one).

So I really like those high-fiber bran flakey kind of cereals that I swore as a kid I would never eat when I got to live in my own house and buy my own cereal (Rice Krispies was about as sugary as it got in my house when I was growing up. I try not to rub that in to Ellis, though, whose "sugar cereal" consisted of cracked wheat.) Special K Red Berries is my personal favorite; although I love Total Bran Flakes, too. Weird, I know.

Now once you hit afternoon or evening, that's an entirely different matter. Especially if it's for a snack, then naturally, you need a good basic sugar cereal like Lucky Charms or Waffle Crisp cereal (have you tried that? It seriously tastes like waffles with butter and syrup. I don't know whose making that artificial flavoring, but all I have to say is, bravo.) This does complicate matters, however, when it comes to my children because they are not so discerning when it comes to the nutritious vs. sugar cereal choice in the mornings. The solution I have discovered? Hide the contraband sugar cereal. I really have no other options.

Best times in my house: when we eat cereal for dinner. (Did I mention it's ready immediately?) Hey, it's fortified with 12 essential vitamins, I'll have you know. Some days, it may just be the healthiest thing they eat.

Okay, and just a side commentary to the guy who was driving the Beef and Other Meats van this morning: was it really necessary to pull in front of me on the 215 on-ramp, then slam on your brakes, slow down to 30 mph, pull in front of me again when I moved into the other lane, and then yell obscenities at me and my virgin-eared children when I opted to go around you (okay, I may have also opted to use my freedom of speech/sound when I laid on the horn . . . ) Seriously, though, two bits of advice -- 1) If you're going to drive like a complete idiot and yell at potential customers (not that Beef and Other Meats from a van is as tempting as it may at first sound), maybe you should consider not doing it in the company van with your phone number listed in bold. 2)Do us a favor and consider getting some dental work done . . . just for those of us who have to see your chipped, gray/yellow teeth spitting flecks (of other meats?) on the window when you're cursing us as we drive by.

It's Oscar Night!

2008-02-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, people, let's talk about the Oscars. I don't know why we have such a fascination with Oscar night, especially considering that we only saw two of the nominated movies this year (yes, that's right -- Ratatouille and Enchanted). But that never stops us from putting the kids to bed early, busting out the Jelly Bellies and popcorn, and hunkering down on the couch for a long night of awards, movie montages, and my continual frustration that the producers of the show refuse to let people finish their speeches. ("Oh, oh wait, the music's starting . . . uh, okay, uh, just one last thank you to my . . .[drowned out by music]")

Highlights of the show for me:

Jon Stewart -- one of the best and funniest Oscar hosts, with the exception of maybe only Ellen Degeneres (do you remember when she was vacuuming the carpet down on the front row of the audience saying, "I had no idea this would be part of my hosting duties"?)

Here are a few of my favorites from Jon (we're on a first name basis):

"Even Norbit got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren't good."

Responding to Javier Bardem delivering half his speech in Spanish, he said, "I took Spanish in high school. I believe he told his mother where the library was."

"They said that having the Oscars helped end the strike. So before we spend the next four to five hours giving each other golden statues, let's take a moment to congratulations ourselves."

Anton Chigur - "combining Hannibal Lecter's murderousness with Dorothy Hamill's wedgecut".

"In case you're wondering what we do in the commercial breaks, we sit here making catty remarks about the outfits you're wearing at home."

He told the audience that there were 3 pregnant women there tonight, and then opened an envelope to reveal that "the baby goes to . . . Angelina Jolie!"

Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard won best song ("Falling Slowly" -- very cool song), but Marketa was cut off by that blasted music before she could say a word. In what must have been an unprecedented event, Jon Stewart had her come back out on stage a bit later so that she could actually give her acceptance speech, which, by the way, was one of the best of the night. Bravo to Jon Stewart!

Javier Bardem gave a very cool acceptance speech. Plus, I love when the actors seem genuinely excited that they have won, yet are not too flustered to actually say something worthwhile . . . albeit, some of it in a language I don't speak. And let's face it, he's just really hot.

Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill were hilarious when they presented as "substitutes" for Halle Berry and Dame Judi Dench. They kept arguing over who was more "Halle Berry."

And just as a side note, I do love seeing the best and worst dressed of Hollywood. My top pics:

Best Dressed:
1. Jennifer Garner
2. Katherine Heigl
3. Penelope Cruz
4. Hillary Swank

Worst Dressed:
1. Anne Hathaway (what is up with the red Hawaiian lei draped across your chest?)
2. Diablo Cody (I'm glad she won, but clearly, this was her first time at the Academy Awards. I guess what can one expect from someone named after the Devil?)
3. Jennifer Hudson (There are dresses that are meant to accentuate the chest . . . but they aren't meant for women who clearly already have one.)
4. Tilda Swinton (Honey, wearing what looked like a black, satin toga was flattering to neither your complexion nor your figure.)

Why does everything taste better frozen?

2008-02-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've discovered a very strange phenomenon involving my freezer. No, it doesn't magically produce German Chocolate Cake Ice Cream upon request . . . although if it did, I would be a much happier (albeit larger) woman.

Here is what I've found: tons of food actually taste better frozen. And not the things you'd expect, like, say, ice cream sandwiches or fruit smoothies. Years ago my sister Nicole showed me how Hostess snacks (you know, Ding Dongs and Twinkies) taste much better if you throw them in the freezer for a couple of hours. In fact, I never even liked Twinkies very much until I was shown this clever little technique.

Well, now I'm beginning to find that the frozen factor works on a variety of baked goods. A few weeks ago I was forced into making some banana bread by some bananas who were threatening a full-scale rotten revolt. I really didn't want to make the aforementioned banana bread, though, because of a pre-existing condition I happen to have. It's called "If it's something sweet, and it's in my house, I will eat it" disorder. So after making the bread, I gave away a few loaves, let the fam eat some, and put the rest in the freezer so I wouldn't eat it all that day.

Today, when I pulled a loaf of the banana bread out, I found that you can totally cut it into slices right from the freezer, and it is DELICIOUS. I was ready to devour the whole loaf. I didn't. (But only because the kids were watching. It's harder to get away with stuff like that now that they've gotten older.)

Other food items that adhere to this mysterious anomaly are cake, chocolate chip cookies, M&Ms (but not Snickers . . . unless you want to chip a tooth), chocolate chips, sugar cookie or other varieties of cookie dough (roll into a tube and wrap in saran wrap, like you're going to just slice them off to cook later, but actually just eat raw . . . no one will ever know), and any Little Debbie snack items.

What I have learned from all of this, though, is that now not even my freezer is a safe haven to store food I know I shouldn't eat. Sigh . . .

Which Jane Austen Heroine are You?

2008-02-17T17:44:00.001-07:00

Take the Quiz here!

"You are Marianne Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility! You are impulsive, romantic, impatient, and perhaps a bit too brutally honest. You enjoy romantic poetry and novels, and play the pianoforte beautifully. To boot, your singing voice is captivating. You feel deeply and love passionately."

Huh. Didn't see that one coming. I had no idea I had such a captivating singing voice . . .

Look, it WAS a good Valentine Activity!

2008-02-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

Observe Marley patiently frosting her cookie while Lucy's cookie is nowhere in sight. Lucy can only be trusted to frost one or two cookies because she eats them immediately. Well, immediately after she eats all the frosting I put on the knife for her, that is.

Holy Crap, These are Good Cookies

2008-02-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

Conversation with myself last night:

"We've got the kids some Valentine treats. We really don't need to make sugar cookies this year. In fact, it's better that we don't because they'll already have all those treats from school. They really don't need any more. Plus, if we have cookies around, I'll just eat them. We definitely won't make them."

Conversation with myself this morning:

"Hmmm, maybe we should make sugar cookies."

"No, we really don't need them."

"But the kids love to frost and decorate them."

"NO. If we make cookies, I'll just eat all of them."

"But . . . it would be a fun little Valentine's activity with the kids."

"And they are the yummiest cookies ever."

"And Valentine's Day only comes once a year."

"You will totally regret this if you make cookies."

Several hours later:

"Hey, girls! Do you want to make some Valentine cookies?"

The thing is, these really are the best sugar cookies you will EVER taste. I found this recipe called "Big, Thick, Soft Sugar Cookies" a year ago, and I have never gone back to my old recipes. They are absolutely incredible, especially with cream cheese frosting (the only kind I use on sugar cookies). So here's the recipe for all to enjoy (or avoid, as the case may be).

Big, Thick, Soft Sugar Cookies

1 c margarine, softened

1 c +1 T sugar

3 whole egg yolks

2 whole eggs

3/4 tsp. vanilla

3 3/4 c flour

1 1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

Cream margarine and sugar; beat in eggs and yolks one at a time, mixing well after each. Mix in vanilla. Combine dry ingredients; add to margarine mixture; mix well. Chill at least 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375. Roll to desired thickness -- 1/2 inch is good -- and cut shapes. Bake 8 minutes (do not overbake!) Allow to cool completely on racks before frosting. Enjoy!

Some days deserve ice cream, right?

2008-02-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

I left the house today without making my bed, and it really, really bothered me. I started worrying that I may have OCD tendencies. Then I realized that the rest of the house was a mess, and that didn’t seem to trouble me too much. The problem was that I was late getting to Larrin’s school for her awards assembly. After dashing madly around the house, grabbing a kid here and there to make sure she had a clean face, or at least shoes on, I started herding them all out to the car.

When I went to put my own shoes on, though, I found I didn’t have any clean black socks. So what the heck, I was in a rush, so I just threw on a pair of my 7-year-old’s that happened to be sitting on my dresser. Of course, I forgot my camera in the process, but it was really hard to focus on anything else when I still had wet hair and socks sliding down my ankles (no, they weren’t meant to be ankle socks).

At the assembly as I watched all the smug, well-prepared parents (who were probably not wearing their children’s socks) jog up to the stage to take pictures of their award-winning children, I felt a twinge of guilt. No camera. But at least my hair was starting to dry. So when Larrin ran back to me and asked if we could go out for ice cream today to celebrate her awards, no can blame me for saying “Sure, we can.” Right?

I think we could all use some cookies and cream right now.

Things Left Behind

2008-02-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

Almost 8 years ago, we moved to Greenville, North Carolina. When we first got there, I was horribly homesick, and the great adventure of moving across the country had lost its novelty during those first few months. I had a new baby, for the first time in my life I wasn't working or in school, I didn't know anyone, and I had no family nearby.

North Carolina felt like an entirely new culture . . . one that I really didn't understand. And forget trying to figure out how to get around out there. Roads and streets are all named (not numbered), and they loop and circle crazily about, sometimes crossing back over streets that they previously ran parallel to. I literally felt lost there.

And to make matter worse, we moved there in the dead of summer. The humidity was so stifling, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I won't talk about what it did to my hair.

But then, of course, I started making friends. And then I began to figure out how to get around. I got a job teaching a couple of nights at the community college (and discovered yet another new culture). I got used to things that seemed so strange at first, and I began to fall in love with our new home.

Now we're back in Utah, something I dreamed about for seven years, and I realize how much I miss about North Carolina. I never thought I would feel homesick for Greenville, but there are many days when I wish I could go back . . . at least for a visit.

Things I miss about NC:

The mild, mild winters where usually a warm jacket is enough. I didn't have a constant fear that my children were going to freeze in the night, and it only snowed maybe once a year . . . just an inch or so, for fun.
When it did snow, everything shut down or was canceled -- school, church, meetings that were unnecessary in the first place, work, you name it. And everyone freaked out and bought out all of the milk, bread, and eggs at the stores. I loved it.
The way complete strangers call you 'sweetie,' 'hon,' and 'sugar.'
Being only an hour away from the beach. Sigh . . .
Being only 4 or 5 hours from Washington, DC -- one of my all-time favorite cities.
Going to pig-pickins (for non-locals, that's a BBQ where a whole pig is cooked in this huge grill thing that looks a lot like a barrel on its side)
How adults are called Miss or Mr. [insert first name] by those who are younger than they are. I really liked that sign of respect without the formality of going by last names. For example, my kids called our neighbor 'Miss Larrie.'
Wearing sandals almost all-year round. It did actually get cold in the winter, but the winters are pretty short, and I could get away with not having to wear socks for most of the year.
Low cost of living -- our mortgage was almost 1/3 of what we pay here (and we only gained about 400 sq. feet here!)
Our bishop. Totally inspiring man, plus he had the greatest NC accent. I could listen to him talk forever.
Our running route. We could go right outside our door and run through the greatest neighborhood (with no hills!) for any variety of miles we wanted to go.
The trees that went on forever. Going down the freeway, you would be surrounded by walls of trees on both sides. So cool.
Going on girls' weekends at the beach house (thanks Amy!)
The gentleness and warmth of the people.
All the friends and wonderful people we met while we were there. I miss them so much--I just wish I could have taken them with me.

From Consequences

2008-02-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

"You are forever standing on the brink, in a place where you cannot see ahead; there is nothing of which to be certain except what lies behind. This should be terrifying, but somehow it is not."
-- Penelope Lively

Some things you should probably know about me

2008-02-10T12:52:00.001-07:00

1. I really hate when people spell my name wrong. I know it's not their fault; I shouldn't expect them to just know that there isn't an 'e' on the end of my name. But it still bugs me, especially when people in my own family (i.e. my in-laws) still spell it wrong.

2. I'm a converted Democrat. I really thought I was a Republican all the years I was growing up, but these last few years of really looking into my political beliefs has caused me to denounce my childhood political affiliation.

3. All it really takes to get on my good side is to make me laugh. I've always been a sucker for a great sense of humor.

4. Once you're in, you're in. It would take a lot for me to stop loving any friend once we have a friendship.

5. I do not like anything spicier than, say, ketchup.

6. I do not approve of gum-chonking, especially if you are within a 10-foot radius of me.

7. I had straight hair when I was a kid -- it didn't actually go curly until I was in middle school. However, in a bout of insanity the year I was interning, I did actually cut my hair extremely short and straightened it every day. The lesson learned: I was given curly hair for a reason.

8. Italian food and citrus fruits do not go together. Stop trying to put pineapple on my pizza! I don't put oranges in your spaghetti.

9. My current favorite shows to watch are The Office and Flight of the Conchords. Will someone please intervene and stop this writers' strike madness??

10. Jenni told me my blog does not have to be all about my children, so if you are expecting to see a whole bunch of pictures and amusing little anecdotes about them, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. Although, they'll probably manage to sneak their way on here every once in a while (mostly because I don't really have any pictures that they're not in).

11. I love getting emails from people, but I'm kind of crappy at responding very quickly. It's a curse, I know.

12. I refuse to forward any email that tells me that if I don't forward it to 10 people then I will die a cruel and untimely death, I will somehow be transformed into an anti-Christian or non-patriot, or all my loved ones will be cursed with 12 years of bad luck.

13. I love, love, love to read. My favorite is fiction (especially young adult fiction), but I've been trying to branch out lately with more history, politics, and biographies.

14. We moved around a bunch when I was really little, but as an adult, I've only lived in two states: Utah and North Carolina.

15. Last fall I ran my first marathon with Ellis and my sister Joey! (And this from a girl who couldn't run the mile in Jr. High and avoided P.E. like it was it was the plague.)

16. I don't like Precious Moments figurines. I'm sorry. I just don't.

17. I have loved U2 since I was in high school, and it is still my favorite group.

18. I am definitely a night person, but it's very frustrating to me because I also want to be able to get up early. Invariably, though, I stay up late, so I get up just in time to wake up Larrin for school and then go back to bed until Lucy wakes up around 8:00. And it still feels early to me.

19. I don't think the library should charge you $1.00 for every day you forget to take back your DVDs. I've probably paid them more than Blockbuster.

20. I have a serious chocolate addiction, and I don't care what people say about dark chocolate being better for you. It will never taste as good as milk chocolate. So stop trying to convince me.

True Friends

2008-02-10T12:25:00.001-07:00

So, I dedicate this first posting to my two great friends Jenni and Carillisa who inspired me to create my own blog. Last night we got together for dinner and a whole schload of talking after not having seen each other in probably seven years. It made me realize how very lucky I am to have such fantastic friends whom I still love and love being with even after such a long separation.

I think that we certainly change greatly from who we were (or at least how we acted) in high school, but I think in some ways, we are exactly the same. And I love that. As we talked and talked last night, I kept thinking of how we used to do this exact same thing at the CougarEat at BYU every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after the Family Science class we all had together our freshman year, and it even felt the same. We have changed, of course, but those changes that have come with marriage, family, and experience are those of greater confidence in ourselves and who we truly are, and an understanding of what's really important to us. And believe me, after reminiscing about some of those high school dramas last night, it's not what we thought it was when we were teenagers.

And I have to say, that there is nothing like your friends to make you feel great about yourself. No matter how many times your husband tells you you're not fat, you don't really believe it until you hear it from your girlfriends! (That drives Ellis crazy.)