Friday, September 26, 2008

FFA: Super Powers

Friday Free for All Topic of the Week: If you could have ANY super power (either good or evil) what would it be?

When I asked Ellis what super power he would like to have, he said, “Being rich.”

“Uh, dude, that’s not a super power.” Poor guy. I think he’s getting tired of the poverty and 90-hour work weeks.

So then I decided that my super power would be something like Samantha’s on Bewitched. You know, how she blinks her eyes a couple of times, and the whole house is clean, dinner’s on the table, and she’s wearing a sporty new ensemble. I don’t know if that would make me more of a witch than a super hero, but either way, I figure it’s appropriate.

I think this decision was based on the fact that lately I feel like I’m living in a refugee camp or something. Toys and clothes and shoes and bits of surreptitiously-placed food and papers strewn all over the place with no one making any efforts to take care of it but me.

But then I made the mistake of checking out Peggy’s blog this morning . . . something I don’t usually do until I’ve posted my own FFA . . . only to find that SHE had already claimed Samantha’s powers. Crap.

But, you know, I figured, that Samantha was always getting into some sort of mad-cap situation or misunderstanding with Darrin, and really, I don’t need that hassle.

So, now I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities:

1. The power of illusion (like Candice on Heroes): being able to alter the perceptions of others. Okay, so here’s the beauty of this one – no more exercising, I can eat what I want, and who needs a clean house? I’ll be sitting on the beach in a size 2 bikini eating chocolate bon-bons.

2. Adoptive Muscle Memory (like Monica on Heroes): the ability to replicate any physical action after seeing it performed. Okay, how cool would that be? Learn to do anything just by watching? I could be a concert pianist, Olympic gymnast, maybe even learn how to swim with my head in the water. The options are limitless.

I don’t know which one would be better. With option #1, I could make everything (including myself) look the way I wanted, but I wouldn’t know how to do anything. With option #2, I’d still have to clean the house. But I could probably win the Tour de France, right?

Final decision? Still undecided. Which would you choose?

**UPDATE** After a deep discussion on the matter, Ellis and I both decided that the Muscle Memory power would be way cooler than any other power. I mean, yeah, it would be nice to look like you're in shape with no effort on your part, but we both figured we'd end up being lazy slugs with that kind of power. With the Muscle Memory one, we talked about endless things that you could learn to do, and how amazing that would be. Of course, we questioned whether what you've learned fades over time, or if you'd always be able to do it. I say that you will always be able to do whatever you've learned.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

And That's Why I Love Him

So, I was looking through old photos for a high school dance picture for the Class of 1994 blog, when I came across some pretty great pictures of Ellis. Of course, I immediately thought, "I have GOT to post these on the blog!"

Ellis has a long and notorious history for taking some pretty fantastic pictures during his childhood. Let's just take a walk down Ellis's memory lane, shall we?

Exhibit A: Ellis's 3rd grade class picture. This is a personal favorite of mine. In this shot, Ellis had come up with this great idea to just casually reach out and tickle the really ticklish kid standing in front of him right as the picture was taken. The best part? No one would ever know it was him. . . (See back row, 5th kid from the left, and his victim, middle row, 4th kid from the left).

Exhibit B: 4th grade class picture. Yeah, it didn't get much better the next year. (Back row, 3rd from the left. . . if you need it pointed out.)

Exhibit C: The Fem-Hand Picture. Ellis is going to kill me for posting this one. He "claims" he was not intending to make this, uh, feminine gesture here.

Exhibit D: I had to post this one just because it's kind of freaky how much this looks like Marley.

Exhibit E: Ellis and Joe Sing "The Rainbow Connection." Ellis and his older brother Joe were roped into dressing as Kermit the Frog(s) and singing for their town's Homecoming talent show. I think it's pretty easy to see why I married the guy.

Monday, September 22, 2008

FFA: The Top 20

Yes, I know. It's not Friday. Again. I happened to have had two freakishly busy Fridays in a row, okay? It won't happen again. At least, there's a chance it won't. Probably.

Friday Free for All Topic of Last Week: The Top 20 ______

The Top 20 Things That Totally Make My Day:

1. Staying up really late knowing I can sleep in the next morning. Doesn't happen often, so you'd better believe I take advantage of it when it does.

2. Cucumbers that aren’t bitter (My garden is taunting me . . .)

3. Email – There is nothing better than getting to send a message without getting bogged down into a 2 hour phone call. Plus, I have very entertaining friends.

4. Cold cereal – I don’t think I need to go into joys of cold cereal again, but as you all know, I do think it is the perfect food.

5. Eating ice cream while watching SNL with Ellis.

6. Taking a nap. Again, it's such a rarity, that I treat it like the miracle that it is.

7. Reading in bed

8. Walking on grass with bare feet (but not the hard, crunchy kind that is currently in patches in my back yard.)

9. Orbit Sweetmint gum

10. Walking through homes that are still under construction. (And uh, no, they aren’t homes of people we know. But you know, when the crew goes home for the day, it’s hard to resist critiquing the layout choices of people who are going to have a home far nicer than ours.)

11. Having a garden. Seriously, how cool it is it to go out in my yard and come back with food?

12. Finding a great deal. On almost anything. Toilet paper's on sale? It's my lucky day!

13. A clean house. Preferably one I didn’t have to clean myself.

14. Buying birthday or Christmas gifts. I don’t know why, but I love finding great gifts. I’ll hoard up gifts months before the occasion that actually calls for it.

15. My new computer monitor. Yes, it’s so nice to see blue, red, and brown again, instead of just varying shades of black.

16. Singing opera with my kids. ( I’m enjoying it now before they get old enough to know to mock.)

17. The DVD player in my van. Are you kidding me? One of the best inventions of the 21st century (or whenever they came up with this little baby.) Now, some families may like to talk to each other or sing songs on long trips. Not me. I’m just happy to not be bugged for the 5 hours it takes to get there.

18. Waking up early without having to drag my sorry butt out of bed or hit the snooze button 12 times. (I am so not exaggerating. Ask Ellis.)

19. Actually making it to the park when I tell the kids we’ll go there.

20. Having exercised. Not the actual exercising itself, but having it already done.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Cake Wrecks

So, a friend of mine just sent me a link to this blog called "Cake Wrecks." It is completely hilarious. The blogger shows pictures of various cake disasters with some pretty funny commentary.

Here are a couple of my favorites with their corresponding commentary:

And that's how embarrassing nicknames are born, boys and girls!

"Is it Less Creepy If You Only Eat the Torso?"
"Someone's having a baby! Let's celebrate by eating one!"

Yep, I'll never quite understand that line of thinking. On the plus side, though, instead of saying "It's time to cut the cake!" with this one you get to say, "It's time to dismember the baby!" Do you suppose they stack the plastic head and limbs neatly in a basket on the side when it's time to serve, or just leave them strewn about the table? Either way, that's some hilarious mental imagery going on. Lindsay S., you grab the left arm, and I'll take the right. Now, pull!

When you go to check out the rest of the site (click on link above), be sure to click on the "Fan Favorites" on the sidebar. I particularly liked the "Inspiration vs. Perspiration" one.

Monday, September 15, 2008

The Return of the Friday Free for All

Okay, I have to apologize for neglecting to post my FFA topic on Friday. I was busy helping Peggy paint, and then Saturday we had a big yard project involving tearing up the front section of the grass (my arms still hurt). Sure, I could have posted Sunday, but I was emotionally distraught after discovering my niece's car was stolen. From my house. Yeah, more on that later. But here it is -- the FFA topic (from last Friday) you've all been waiting for . . .

FFA Topic: Memories of Junior High (repressed or otherwise)

Let’s just face it – the Junior high years were not my best. My hair had suddenly gone curly (so I had no idea what to do with the frizzy mess), I had braces until 8th grade, and I was taller than most of the boys until about 9th grade. There was friend trauma, boy trauma, and probably just a bunch of made-up trauma because frankly, that’s what junior-high age girls do best.

So here are some of my best/most horrific/confused memories from the good ol’ days at Spanish Fork Jr. High:

1. Singing Valentines – this is definitely a favorite memory of mine. Every Valentine’s Day, the Drama Club made tons of heart-shaped sugar cookies which people could purchase and have delivered to the person of their choice, along with a little Valentine’s ditty. We got to skip classes most of the day, so that we could take these cookies around to the different classrooms. We’d sing ridiculous lyrics that we’d made up to songs like “Lollipop” to the poor, unsuspecting Valentine recipients.

2. Gym class – really need I say more? The absolute horror of having to take showers in the locker room with only a dishcloth-sized towel to cover you up after was almost enough to make us all a little neurotic. And who can forget Mrs. Perkins’s lecture on using deodorant?

3. The “snack line” at lunch. For some reason, the school district felt once we were in junior high, we were now old enough to have some choices at lunch . . . the favorite of which was the infamous “snack line.” The food choices in this line included a big pile of greasy fries with a greasy burrito, greasy cheeseburger, or greasy slab of pizza. Um, yeah, because kids this age are notorious for making healthy food choices . . .

4. Sewing class. Most of the girls took sewing and cooking classes while the boys took wood and metal shop. I’m still confused, though, as to how we’d benefit from learning how to sew a stuffed animal pillow, the most hideous jacket known to mankind, and a nightgown (okay, I actually wore that one for a while . . .). Even more confusing, though, was the day Mrs. Benson showed us a video with Christie Brinkley showing us how to put on makeup. Um, huh?

5. For some reason, Jenni and I decided to convince Chad Vest during Algebra class that Jenni’s middle name was “Liberty Bell.” I’m not sure whether it reflects more on our powers of persuasion or his, um, common-sense that he believed us.

6. “Going with” someone. Junior high kids didn’t date. We would “go with” someone. Go where, you might ask? Well, that is a very good question. I never really found out. I used to really like Scott Christensen until the fateful day that he asked me to “go with” him. For about a week, we painstakingly avoided talking to each other or crossing paths in the halls at all costs. Then we broke up. It was a short-lived but highly dramatic relationship.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Number 2 off to School!

Marley's first day of kindergarten was yesterday, and she was pretty excited to finally get to go to school with Larrin. Kindergarten is all day here, so to be honest, I was pretty excited, too. Ahhh . . . a whole 2 hours to myself while Lucy naps. What will I do with all that time?

Okay, so it was kind of weird (and extremely quiet) with only Lucy and me in the house all day yesterday and today. Lucy really seemed to eat up the one-on-one attention, though, so I didn't get any complaints from her.

Marley and her friend Dylan are in the same class.

Marley in her classroom really hoping that I'll stop taking pictures and go home soon. Dang! She's standing by Fernando's coat hook. I'll have to pose her more strategically next time.

Well, she seems to really love school so far. She's come home excited and happy every day, and she's convinced that her teacher invited her over to have hotdogs tonight at her house. (Um, huh??) Marley was pretty disappointed when I told her I didn't know where her teacher lived. Other than that, school life has been great.