FFA Topic of the Week: Okay, we all know everyone has wonderful, cherished family and holiday traditions we just couldn't live without. (I mean, hey, where would Halloween be if I didn't traditionally sneak candy out of my kids treat bags after they've gone to bed?) But what are some of your traditions that you could really do without?
I know this really makes me into some sort of crappy mom, but if there's one family tradition I could do without, it would be our bedtime traditions.
It all started innocently enough. When Larrin was just a little gal, we began the whole night time process: bath, reading stories, brushing teeth (when she got some), saying prayers together, both of us tucking her into bed and talking with her for a while before saying good night. It was kind of a nice little nightly routine.
Okay, so here we are a couple of kids later, and there is nothing I dread so much as bedtime. I try to sneak out of it whenever I can. You know, last minute trips to the store (oops! We're out of milk!) or to the library (I totally forgot this movie was due back today!), but I usually can't get out of it.
Anymore, it just seems like such a fight to get them to do anything at bedtime. It's a battle of cleaning up of toys, putting on pajamas, picking out clothes for the next day (for the school-bound), and countless other little tasks that for some reason, can only be accomplished in the minutes before the kids are supposed to be in bed.
I just want them to go to bed. Is that so wrong? So why does it take SO long?? It should be a fairly simple process, but usually you'll hear one or more of the following from me or Ellis during the traditional bedtime scenario:
"Marley, would you get off the toilet already? You've already been in there for 10 minutes."
"Lucy! Lucy, come here! Lucy! Lucy! No, kneel down for prayers. No, kneel. No, get off your sister! Just come here! No, you can jump after prayers. Kneel down!!" (Really sets the tone for the moment.)
"Who left all the Polly Pockets out?"
"Has everyone had vitamins? Who hasn't? Marley, why did you take another one from me if you've already had one??"
"Only one story tonight, and I mean it! If this room isn't cleaned up in five minutes, then NO stories! You think I'm kidding?"
"Larrin, why didn't you tell me earlier that this flag had to be colored for school tomorrow? You told me all your homework was done!"
"Okay, just one more joke, and then you need to go to sleep. Seriously, this is the last one."
"Will you two STOP fighting before I lose my mind?!"
"Why does NO ONE have their pajamas on yet??"
Okay, now, I love my children. And I do love being with them, and reading them books, and listening to their jokes. I just don't want to do it at bedtime. That's when I just want to go hide somewhere else in the house with a book and some Oreos until they're all in bed. Look, I hate the whole process of getting myself in bed . . . taking out the contacts, brushing teeth, putting on pajamas. It's all a big hassle. So, I can hardly be expected to enjoy doing it for three other people, can I?
12 comments:
A couple months ago I decided that Bedtime was a task for TJ. He gives her a bath, gets her dressed, and reads a story before I come in for prayers and such. I wanted it to be such because it gives T a chance to spend time with Sophie and it gives me a little break. I now see that my wisdom in instituting this so early will pay me even more when we've got more than this one little joy.
Oh Jami, I love you. I have been feeling like a horrible mother these past few months, no years. I can't agree with you more on this topic. I am sooo glad to hear this from you. In fact, a few months ago I boycotted bedtime and told my kids they were too old for me to tuck them in each night. It was such an expectation that it was driving me crazy. Poor things. I could have at least tucked them in and just bagged the story.
But, alas, since Alli got Diabetes we have been back into the comfort of bedtime stories and tucking in. It's not too bad, but they both choose that exact time to want to "talk" about whatever is on their mind. And it's never less than ten minutes. We have to start the routine 45 minutes earlier just to have time to talk.(Funny, I remember doing that to my mother as well.) It drives me crazy! I just keep reminding myself that quicker than I can blink, they'll be all grown up and I will miss it, maybe.
Marley sounds hilarious! Good luck with that one. And the last minute announcement about school work - too funny, too true!
Wow--that sounds pretty crappy. I bet it really makes you think about giving up your aspirations to become a mother, doesn't it? I mean, honestly--you could be a successful career woman travelling the globe right now. Really makes you think.
AMEN!! I hate to admit this, but story time has gone away for us. It just gave them another excuse to whine and ask for more, than I'd feel quilty and give in and read one more. Than there's always countless stories that need to be told to me about their day. Anymore, at 8:00, (unless they have to go to bed earlier from punishment), I ask them to go up and get their PJ's on and brush their teeth and say their prayers. I then go up and give them each a kiss, listen to their one thing they have saved to tell me and then I'm out of there. If they get out of bed then I close their door. I think they have finally learned that they can't manipulate me at bedtime anymore.
So, shorten the process so there is more time to eat your Oreos and read your book!!
So nice to see that I wrote quilty and not guilty. HA!! I got the read line under quilty and for the life of me couldn't figure out what was wrong. I'm one smart cookie....that, or it's early on a Sunday morning!
Did I just write read, instead of red. Yes, I did...so what, get over it!!
Debra, I'm jealous you've already set up such a great system. How can I work that into my family?
And Carillisa, thank you for letting me know it's okay to skip the bedtime routine. My sister told me that's what she does, too, and I've been so jealous! Now that the kids are getting older, I think it's time to institute the "you can get into your own bed by yourself" regime.
And Jen, your idea is genius! And, by the way, I've always thought of you as a quilty sort of gal.
Man, I've been thinking ALL THESE YEARS that I'm the crappiest mom ever. I've never read Brandon OR Luke a story before bed. There's no tucking in. I don't bathe them. (They do bathe...Matt just does the bathing.) And seriously, I hear about these warm fuzzy bedtime moments and all of these good dedicated moms - creating warm fuzzy moments with their kids just before they doze off to nighty night....
Now I'm thinking I may have made the right choice all along....
What Debra doesn't know is that as soon as Sophie gives me the least bit of trouble I shorten the bath or story or lotioning or diaper changing (sometimes I don't change it all, if she's crying hard) and pretend like it's all been done. I've found a way around this little ploy you gals are playing. Two words: "Mommy!"
Ok, so I'm kidding. But Debra is right about it giving me quality time with Sophie and her a break. Since I am gone for a big portion of the day it works out well and I too see wisdom in Debra's decision. I just hope Sophie stays as cute as a button for the rest of her life. I might reconsider once she has teeth and hair and toilet usage issues.
Hey! what the heck? Posting my sins for all to read??? Of course I have a bedtime routine for my kids. Our nightly to-do's are lenghty and sometimes I think of skipping it for just one night but I know that if I do my sweet children will end up on some pysc's couch and I would NEVER do that to them. Never! I'm far too much of a mother to consider it. Plus I'm running for Mother of the Year again and if this rumor ever got out.....
Hey, I didn't say which sister. Looks like someone has a guilty conscience . . . (or a quilty conscience, if you're Jenni-O).
Wow, it's like you were peeking in my windows last night! With Justin out of town I've taken the opportunity of condensing a few bedtime habits - rather than taking up the slack and doing the things he usually does, they're on their own for drinks and a few other small things. Anyway, great post!
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